Little Victories
by holygoof101
Summary: AU Ryan's always been a fighter, but what if things had turned out differently and he actually used his fighting to get him somewhere. More summary and author's note inside. COMPLETE
1. Default Chapter

SUMMARY: A/U We all know Ryan's a fighter, but what if things had been different and he used his fists the smart way? Maybe his quick fists could actually take him somewhere…

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ok Ryan hasn't been in a fight for so long I'm going through withdrawals. So between seeing Million Dollar Baby, being obsessed with The Contender, and mastering the art of Fight Night Round 2 for PS2, I had an idea… And I haven't seen any other stories like it, so I figured I'd give it a shot. I'm kinda just starting the story without any back story or a lot of explanations, but just bear with me all that will come later… And for those of you who haven't read my other story, I'll just let you know straight up I'm a hardcore Ryan and Marissa fan so this is a Ryan and Marissa story.

Chapter One

Every fighter knows the difference between the sound of a bell that's starting the round and the sound of a bell that's ending the round. It's all the same bell, but to a fighter the ring is completely different. When the bell rang signaling the end of the sixth round Ryan Atwood out of training and not instinct pulled his last punch and took a step towards his corner. It took a lot of work and training for him to get the point where he could just quit fighting and expect the other guy not to hit him when his guard was down, but he had managed to learn. On this night his opponent apparently didn't have the same amount of willpower. A sharp hook caught Ryan square in the left temple, his vision when hazy and his equilibrium throw into a tailspin. It all seemed to move in slow motion for Ryan but in actuality there was only a second between the illegal punch and Ryan hitting the cold canvas of the boxing ring, render unconscious.

Bright florescent lights greeted Ryan as he slowly began to awake, his head throbbed and he could feel that something was obstructing him from moving. Things around him were still a bit hazy but he could hear someone softly humming, if he had been a religious man he might have thought it was the sounds of an angel, maybe it was his angel he just didn't know it yet. Either way the sound was sweet and certainly an eased way to come back into reality. Being able to tell that almost all his movement was obstruct in some way, he cleared his throat to signal that he was aware of his surrounds.

Again he cleared his throat and started to speak, "Ummm," he watched as a young woman moved into his line of vision, things had began to clear up and he could see she was stunningly beautiful and dressed in all white, he assumed she was a nurse.

"Hey you're awake, let me go get the doctor."

"No, no doctor." He said harshly. "Just tell me where I am and why the hell I'm tied to a damn bed please," his voice seeped aggravation, as he tried in vain to sit up only to be held down.

"You're in Newport Beach Regional Hospital, do you know you're name?"

"Ryan Atwood, I hope."

"Yeah that's you're name, you have any idea what happened?"

"I had a fight in Newport, a scrappy kid probably bout my age, but poorly trained… He hit me right? So that's where I am, doesn't explain why I'm tied down its not like I hit myself or anything."

"They wanted to minimize the chance of injury since you where knocked unconscious, plus they didn't know if there was any spinal injury and didn't want to risk anything."

"Well lady I can feel my legs and my arms and everything else to be able to tell you that I really don't like being tied down so ummm you want to do something about that please."

She sensed aggravation in his voice, "I understand your frustration but I really should go find the doctor."

"Look aren't you a nurse, just untie me and tell him that he was busy and I was irate or something."

"I can't I'm only a volunteer, I'm going to go get the doctor."

"Do what you have to do." Ryan sighed in frustration.

It was another full hour before the doctor finished examining him and gave him his wish to have the restraints and neck brace removed. By that point post fight exhaustion had set in.

"Ok Mr. Atwood you seem to be alert and aware and just fine, however I do want to keep you overnight for observation. If everything goes well which I expect it should, you'll be released first thing in the morning. You're lucky that blow didn't do more damage."

"Yeah well my boy's a tough kid." Ryan's trainer spoke up.

"Well tough only goes so far," the doctor quickly responded.

"Believe me doc, I've been in the boxing game for long enough to know that tough only gets you so far." The trainer met the doctor with a hard stare down.

"Well I'll leave you two be." With that he hastily made an exit, not wanting to start an argument over how many broken bodies and wrecked guys he'd seen due to contact sports, knowing that with him being a Newport doctor the chances of either or the two men believing him were slim to none.

"Newport Hospital, too bad I'm not far enough a long to need a nose job, this would be the perfect place huh coach?" Ryan gave a short laugh, and watched as his trainer smiled back with a bit of concern in his eyes. He was about to get a lecture, something he'd done wrong, or something he could have done to prevent his injury, Ryan knew it was coming and relived when he heard the door to his room open again.

"Ryan?" the young woman from earlier knocked briefly and peeked her head around the door "Oh you have company I'm sorry."

"No it's alright I was just leaving. I'll be back in the morning to pick you up kid, see ya then." a lecture could wait until Chino in the gym where he could give the kid a bit of a lesson too, a pretty girl at the gym was a lot less likely.

"See you then Joey."

The girl stood in the doorway until the older man had exited. Then tried to speak, her mouth opened but no sound came out. To be honest she really didn't even know why she was in his room. Her time for the day was up, and usually she didn't make a habit of stopping by to see patients on her way out.

"I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing."

Ryan stared at the girl for several seconds before answering. His vision might have been hazy when he first saw her, but it was crystal clear now and she was still stunning. All of her features soft, not like what he was used to, she was possibly the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his life.

"Same as earlier, just fine." He briefly answered.

"Good… well then…." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Anything else?"

He gave her a half smile that sent her a back for a moment. "You know for someone who gets the shit kicked out of him for fun you look pretty good, I mean you still have all your teeth."

"I don't do it for fun, it's a living, it's my passion it's how I survive," his eyes filled with passion as he spoke.

"Sorry I didn't mean to insult you."

"You didn't, some people just don't get it though." He slightly nodded his head.

"I get it… I mean… sorry I sound like a dope…" she watched as he gave a slightly shrug. "Well I actually guess I came by to apologize for earlier you know insisting about the doctor and all it's just…"

"What you had to do, I get it. It's cool. You didn't have to apologize for that. I mean it's partially my fault I assumed you were a nurse."

"Well I wanted to."

"Ok…" He gave another slight nodded. "Mind if I ask you something?" He looked on as she shrugged. "You said you were a volunteer, how old are you?"

"Twenty, how old are you?" She playful retorted back, starting to realize that the hospitalized boxer could possibly be hitting on her.

"I'll be twenty-one next week. Guess that puts us in the same age bracket."

"What does that mean?"

"Whatever you want it to mean."

It took her a moment to catch the board smile that lit up her face, and then it hit her that at least for the time being this was a patient. "I should go," she told him still smiling.

"But I don't know you're name. And you know mine so… that's not very fair."

"Well… My dad always told me boxers were some of the smartest athletes on the planet despite it all, so prove my dad right and figure it out." With those words she quickly left leaving Ryan to figure out what exactly had just taken place within that exchange within his hospital room.

The next morning as he was preparing to leave he declined being wheeled out to meet Joey, insisting that both his legs worked just fine. On his way out he stopped by the nurses station.

"Excuse me Miss, I was wondering if you could tell me something. There was a volunteer here last night she was in my room when I woke up I was wondering here name."

"I'm sorry Mr. Atwood I wasn't on shift last night,"

"Well is there some kind of log you could check?"

"We're not allowed to give that information out sir."

"Well then maybe there's someone who would know, I just wanted to send her card or flowers or something for being so nice."

"Hold on a sec…" The nurse sensed his sincerity and called back to another nurse, "Tiff, you're coming off of night shift right, you know which of the transporters was here last night? A patient wants to know who was there when he woke up."

The other nurse craned her neck and looked at Ryan, "You the boxer?" He gave her a nodded, and she continued, "Cooper, her name's Marissa Cooper."

"Thanks." Ryan flashed both the women a smile and repeated the name to himself as he walked towards the elevator, "Marissa Cooper." He whispered again and smiled to himself.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

For Ryan Atwood everyday was the same routine, up at 4:30 am for a five mile run, go home shower, change clothes and at work by 6. From 6 in the morning until 2 in the afternoon he was a construction worker, mostly clean up and salvage. As soon as work was over it was time for another run, then be at the gym for 5. From 5 in the afternoon to 8 at night he trained. It was in those hours at the gym when he felt alive. There he wasn't a normal man anymore, he was a boxer even more so he was a good boxer, and that meant respect. Respect was something important in Chino; most guys got their respect through gangs, or by boosting cars. Ryan earned his in the ring.

"Come kid that's it," Joey yelled from ringside as he watched his best boy demolish his sparring partner. He'd been training Ryan for just over four years now and couldn't have loved him more if they'd been blood.

Ryan heard the belt ring, and stopped. Joey jumped into the ring and removed his headgear, "Good job kid, 110 percent just like I like it. You keep this up and the middleweight division as it stands won't know what hit them."

Ryan smiled, middleweight guys were smaller and quick like the featherweight guys, but the could pack a punch like heavyweights sometime. Ryan at 160, stood right at the middleweight cut off but he liked it that way. When he first started training with Joey, he was a muscular 175, which would have put him in the light heavyweight division. Joey having seen the boxing game for many years knew that Ryan was too small in size to stay at that weight, so he had him trim down, knowing that his speed and grace were perfect for a strong middleweight fighter.

The first time Ryan meet Joey, was in juvie where Ryan spent a year and three months for being the possession of a stolen car. He hadn't actually stole the car, his brother Trey had taken care of that, Ryan was just in the car when they got caught. Six months was his original sentence and even that harsh punishment for a first time offender, Ryan's public defender thought so, but it's not like he had been any help to Ryan anyway. Ryan had always felt like it was his defender's lack of effort that landed him there in the first place. Most guys got probation or community service on a first offense. The judge made an example of Ryan, not that anyone was paying any attention. Fighting had been how he survived Chino and what had been getting him by in juvie. Eventually the fighting led to extra time on his sentence and for a while it felt like he was never going to get out.

It was in Ryan's last six month there that he met Joey, everyday the boys were required to attend classes, just like regular school. Most of the boys didn't give a damn but Ryan thought that maybe if he did good in the classes he could get his extra time reduced a bit. When one of the boys attacked the regular English teacher, Joey stepped in as their sub. His first few weeks Joey kept quite and didn't say much outside of the class lectures, he figured saying as little as possible it would help him maintain some amount of control. He knew Ryan was one of the different boys in there, for one he actually paid attention in class and did the work. Even when Joey looked out on the courtyard and saw the fights he saw something different. Most of the most punch to hurt and just threw their shots wildly with intent to punish. Not Ryan, when Ryan fought he timed his shots and they were well placed usually putting his opponent down within a couple of shots. He was a smart kid, both in the books and on the streets and Joey knew that that could be something.

"Atwood, hang after for a second," Joey called to him as the boys began to file out of the classroom.

"Yes sir," Ryan stood a few feet back from his desk.

"I finished your paper, graded it and all. Good work kid very thought out, I gave you an A."

"Thanks, can I go now?"

Joey leaned back in his chair and sized the kid up. He was probably close to 180, but some running and a better diet could fix that, and he was already in good shape.

"When's your time up?"

"Five months or so. Maybe less if I'm lucky, why?"

"I watch you boys when you're outside. Most of those kids are like animals and most of them aren't going to do anything but end up in San Quentin State, but every now and then there's smart one out there. You you're a smart one and you're a good kid too… Let me guess this is your first time here?" He watched as Ryan nodded. "You don't want to end up back here or worse either do you?"

"No sir. But where I'm from, that's where most guys go."

"Where you from?"

"Chino."

"No shit," Joey's eyes lit up, not only was this smart kid, but this smart kid was from his side of the tracks maybe he could get there to this one. "You know it is possible for guys from Chino to make something of themselves."

"Yea funny I can't name one."

"You're looking at one…. I'm a regular substitute teacher right, but I'm the guy they call in for crappy jobs like this. Dangerous ones that no regular sub in there right mind would take, and you want to know why…"

"Why?" Ryan tried to keep his voice gruff but was in fact actually interested in what Joey had to say.

"Because any one of these kids could come at me and I could drop them in a second, with a simple punch to the ass. You just hit them in the sciatic nerve, it's one of the dirtiest shots in boxing and once of the least noticed and it makes your opponent's legs go, once someone's legs aren't a factor their butter."

"Did you say boxing?"

"Yea boxing, see the nose?" He pointed to a large indentation in his sizable Italian nose. "See the eyes?" He pointed to large bag under his eyes caused by years of scar tissue build up. "I did it myself for about ten years, now when I'm not taking crappy subbing jobs, I train guys. Most of my guys started off just like you. Didn't think they had anywhere to go in life, so they fought and didn't know what for. I give kids like you something to fight for. And if you're interested, I want to give you something to fight for."

With that a relationship was form, as soon as Ryan got out of juvie he started training with Joey seven days a week. Joey never charged him anything, but the deal was Ryan had to go to school, keep his grades up and graduate. If Ryan could manage that, then Joey would train him for free, put up the cash for him to fight in the amateurs and after graduation take him to the pros. Now four years later Ryan had been pro for two years with a perfect record 7-0 with 4 kayos.

"Oh my God Cooper could you move any slower? I am so ready to go home." Summer Roberts waved her hands in a violent motion for her best friend to pick up the pace. Marissa simply smiled at her and called back, "Chill I'm coming."

At twenty years old Marissa Cooper lived much the same privileged life of her Newport peers. Designer clothes, parties, and endless shopping sprees. And for the most part she was a normal Newport girl. That is if you don't count the fact that she spend much of her teen years in and out of psychiatric hospitals, therapy sessions and rehab clinics. She had two suicide attempts one at sixteen, the next a year later at seventeen. Both of them came after traumatic incidents involving her boyfriend at the time, well it was a different boyfriend each time and one was more traumatic that the other but either way the results were the same a stay in a hospital and therapy afterwards. All at the insistence of her mother. A mother she couldn't stand but still footed the bill for the shopping and drinking of her teen years. It was also when she was seventeen that she embarked on her first healthy relationship, a relationship that just happened to be with another girl, and when that ended Marissa found herself in a rehab clinic in San Francisco. Which was the further away from Newport that her father would let her mother send her.

Life had been turbulent for Marissa but with a little willpower and the help of her best friend Summer, and her neighbors the Cohen, who were in fact the only sane people in Newport as far as she was concerned, Marissa managed to pull through. She had been sober for almost three years, and was on the dean's list at USC, where she was a psychology major after rehab she had made the decision to become an youth addiction specialties counselor. The commute had been rough but rather than simply move to LA in order to be close to school, she remained living in Newport sharing a nice beach apartment that had once belonged to her dad, with Summer. At one point she thought she needed to be, as far away from Newport as possibly to conquer her demons, now she knew that she needed to be in Newport in order to continue to face them.

"Hey Sum, where you still at the hospital last night when they brought that guy who'd been hit in the head in?"

"The boxer?" Summer's eyes lit up, "Oh yea, I would have loved to have been the one who had to give him a sponge bath." They girls both laughed. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason, I was just in his room when he woke up."

"And?"

"And… nothing I was just there when he woke up."

"Yeah so sure of that. You wouldn't have even brought it up if there weren't some reason."

"I don't know… We kinda had a moment… but it's nothing I guess I mean it's not like I'm ever going to see him again."

"You like him… well why don't you pull his file when no one's looking and find him."

"Summer that is so against the patient confidentiality laws."

"So if no one see you do it, then you didn't do anything wrong."

Marissa let out a huge laugh, "I love your moral flexibility, but how desperate does that make me look?"

"Well aren't you? I mean Coop; it's been what two years since you've had a date? And beside for a man like that you're allowed to look desperate." Summer joked as she pulled the car into the driveway.

"Yeah right, besides he's probably already got a girlfriend, and it's not like he would even have a reason to remember me." The girls continued to laugh as they made their way to the front door, when Summer noticed something at her feet.

"Oh flowers! I wonder who their from." Summer jumped with glee

"Probably you're dad as usual."

"No," Summer responded with a sly smile and handed Marissa the card; "Apparently someone has you on his mind as well."

Marissa looked down at the card and read "Marissa Cooper, guess I proved your dad right. How about you call me or else I'll take another hook to the temple to see you again, Ryan Atwood." Under his name he listed a 909-phone number. Marissa clutched the card between her fingers and tried to contain a broad smile.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Where are you going?" Summer asked quizzically as she saw Marissa dressed to the nine's and putting on make-up in bathroom mirror.

"A party."

"A party, there's no party in Newport tonight… Or did I miss the memo… Cause if I did I certainly need to go get dressed."

"Nope Sum, there was no memo to be missed, the party's not in Newport." Marissa casually answered before she began to apply her lipstick.

"Oook… So where is said party and why was I not invited?"

"It's not that you're not invited I just figured you wouldn't want to go cause it's in Chino." Marissa responded as if she attended parties in Chino all the time.

"CHINO? EW! Why would anyone want to go to a party in Chino… Why the hell would you be going to a party in Chino." Summer watched in the mirror as Marissa tried to conceal a grin. A slight look of disgust crossed Summer's face; "This is about the boxer isn't it?"

"Maybe…"

"You're going to a party in Chino with him?"

"For him."

"Huh?" Summer shook her head slightly confused.

"I haven't exactly seen him since that night in the hospital, but I talked to him last week and… Well the party is for his 21st birthday; he invited me… kinda… I guess…. He said I should swing by if I had the time."

"So hold up… You're going to a party in _Chino _for a guy you've talked to what once, twice… Ok I love you but this isn't exactly on the smart side, going by yourself to Chino, it's not exactly Beverly Hills."

"That's why Seth's going with me."

"Who?" Summer arched her eyebrows at Marissa.

"Seth Cohen, Sandy and Kirsten's son, he's home from college."

"Seth Cohen… Umm EW, you're like going to be seen in public with him… I thought he like left the country before he even graduated high school."

"He made early graduation and went to Berkley and for the record he was there for me while I was in rehab… He's a good guy Summer."

"Yeah and a total nerd and not going to do you any good in Chino. I mean come on Seth Cohen… You so need back up that's why I'm going. So you can call and uninvite him, because you have me and I cannot be seen out with him, even though Chino doesn't count as out I mean EW, but still…"

"I am not uninviting Seth that's rude. So if you want to go you can go with Seth and me."

Summer rolled her eyes and sighed, "You're so difficult sometimes, fine but he sits in the back and when we get there he doesn't know me."

Marissa laughed softly to herself; sometimes she felt like her best friend was never going to grow out of her high school mentality. "Whatever you say Sum."

Loud Latin hip-hop music poured from every angle of the small house. Ryan sat quietly on the arm of a sofa in the far corner of the living room surround by people some of which he knew most of which he didn't. He was trying to stay where he could see who was coming in the door, however with the amount of people that were quickly pouring in it was becoming difficult to see through the crowd. He took a long sip from his bottle of water and arched his neck trying to get a view of the door, only to give up out of frustration.

"Arturo, who are all these people?" Ryan called to his friend over the music.

"Friends, neighbors, eses' shit I don't know man." Arturo smiled and sipped his beer.

"I thought this was going to be something small bro."

"You know parties around here aren't small ese, so just relax, have a beer it's your birthday." He slapped Ryan roughly on the back and laughed.

Ryan shrugged, it wasn't that he wasn't having a good time, it was simply that he just didn't feel comfortable with so many people around.

"I'm getting you a beer man like it or not," Arturo stood from the couch, and Ryan watched as his jaw nearly hit the ground.

"Damn talk about honey… Did you see the fine senorita that just walked in the door?"

Ryan craned his neck and gave a smile, "She came."

"You know her?"

"Yea man, I'll catch you later," He gave Arturo a slap on the back and began to push through the crowd.

"Oh My God Coop, EW, I cannot believe you actually wanted to here, can you believe her?" Summer turned to Seth looking for someone to agree with her.

"Sure I guess so." Seth shrugged. Parties weren't exactly Seth Cohen's thing, and this was certainly one of the more wild parties he'd seen. He honestly thought that house parties like this one only existed in bad movies.

"It's not that bad you two. Now we just have to find Ryan." Marissa looked at the crowd and bit her lip slightly. Her fears were eased when she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Hey you made it," Ryan finished pushing his way through the crowd and stood face to face with Marissa, giving her a slight grin.

For a moment Marissa felt a slight weakness in her knees and a tremble in the pit of her stomach. She heard of people having those feelings before over another person, and the idea that she was having them herself both excited and terrified her at the same time. She gave him a smiled back.

"I told you I would." The two stared at each other for a moment exchanging sly grins.

Summer stood there tapping her foot waiting for Marissa to break from her trance, "Umm hello? Guests here…" She stepped in between the two and held her hand out to Ryan.

"Oh Ryan I'm sorry, these are my friends. My best friend Summer, and my friend Seth."

Ryan shook Summer's hand and nodded at Seth, "I'm Ryan nice to meet you guys. Can I get you a drink? We've got beer… and umm beer and… beer and…" He paused and tapped his head."

Marissa finished the sentence for him, "And beer?"

"Yeah," he gave a slight laugh. "Well and water," he held up his bottle of water to show her.

"Well I'll have water." Marissa answered.

"Actually this is the only bottle of water here." He gave a half-embarrassed laugh.

"Then I'll have that one," she took the bottle from his hands and proceeded to remove the cap and take a long sip.

Ryan both amused and shocked at her brazenness shook his head and turned back to Seth and Summer. "I'm going to go try and find another bottle of water now, can I get you two a beer?"

"Sure," Seth shrugged; he had never really been much of a drinker, however he didn't want to be rude.

"Yeah I'll take one, and why don't you go help him Cohen," Summer shoved Seth in Ryan's direction and made a shoo-ing motion at them.

Ryan looked to Seth who merely shrugged at him, "Come on man the kitchen's this way." The two began to walk to the kitchen without attempting to make conversation over the loud music in the living room. When they reached the kitchen Ryan pointed Seth to the keg as he moved to the refrigerator in search of water.

Seth stood dumb founded for a moment then looked back to Ryan, "I don't exactly know how to work this thing."

"No problem man," Ryan turned back to Seth and began to pour a beer. "So Summer, is that your girl?"

"I wish," Seth responded.

"What's that mean?"

"Summer's just… well she's out of my league."

"How so… You're a guy, she a girl. Unless she's into chicks then you've got a shot right?" Ryan held a beer out to Seth and began pouring the second one.

Seth took the beer from Ryan and shook his head in a firm response to his question. "No way, I've been in love with her since I was ten, and the only reason she knows I exist is because Marissa's family is friends with my family. That's the only reason Marissa knows I exist, I mean I'm practically her pity case."

"But you don't care what Marissa thinks… You're telling me that you've liked this girl for what ten years? And you've never once attempted to make a move… You gotta get it together man. No time like now." He gave Seth and go for it grin.

"Yea right," Seth responded as they began to make their way back to Marissa and Summer.

"Here you go Summer," Seth nervously handed her a beer.

Ryan watched as the two started to interact, and mouthed to Marissa, "You wanna go outside?"

Marissa nodded and watched as Ryan tossed his head to the side. She slipped around Summer and followed Ryan to the back yard.

She took a sip and made a face, "EW domestic, EW."

Seth shrugged, "Tastes like beer to me," he took another sip of his beer.

"Oh Coop, I wish you could taste how bad this i… Coop… Coop?" Summer turned around and looked to both of her sides. She tossed her hands to the air, "Where did they go?"

"So this is your place?" Marissa asked as she settled into a lawn chair in a semi-quiet corner of the back yard.

"No, umm this is Arturo place. But I used to crash here sometimes. That was before I moved in with Joey."

"The guy who was with you at the hospital?"

Ryan nodded his head, "Yea, he's my trainer."

"I thought he was your dad."

"Closest thing to it…"

"So where's your family?"

Ryan sighed slightly ashamed of what he was about to tell her, " My Dad's in jail, or maybe not he might be out by now. I really don't know. My mom's God only knows where probably passed out in some bar or possibly in jail… And my older brother's in jail."

"So you're like the only person in your family who hasn't been in jail…"

"Not exactly. I mean I've never done hard time, but I spent a little over a year in juvie, it's where I met Joey. He was a teacher…"

Marissa listened intently as he told her the story of juvie and getting to know Joey. Parts of it made her want to cry, others made her want to grab and hug him. She wanted to tell him that she could understand that her life hadn't exactly been a piece of cake. She wanted to tell him that she could understand but she was afraid that he wouldn't believe her.

"Wow, you've certainly lived," was all she could think of to say that she felt like it would make sense.

Ryan laughed at himself and threw his head back into the lawn chair he was sitting in, "I usually don't talk this much…"

"I usually stop listening after five minutes," she joked and reached down taking his water from his hand.

"Hey that's mine."

"Yea but mine's empty," she shook the empty bottle at him.

"That one was mine too." He reached over to snatch the water from her hands, she jerked away only to have him catch her, and bring their faces within mere inches of each other. It was the moment, they could take it and continue ignore how different they really were or they could turn back. It was a choice they were about to make when a voice interrupted them.

"COOP! Umm you've been out here for like two hours can we go yet?" Summer stood in the porch light tapping her foot.

Ryan pulled himself away from Marissa and stood up, "I'll walk you out."

"Ok…" She self-consciously brushed herself off in the distance she could hear a group chanting. "Where's Seth?" She quizzed Summer.

Ryan's ear's perked up at her question as he managed to make out the sounds coming from the front yard, 'Pass the rich boy, pass the rich boy.' Ryan looked to Summer and Marissa, "I think I know." He rushed towards the front yard with the girls struggling to keep up. As they approached the front yard they saw a circle of guys standing around tossing someone from person to person. Ryan ushered the girls towards the front fence. "I take care of this." He reassured them.

Summer turned to Marissa; "This is your fault… It's a good thing he's a boxer."

"Hey, Hey. Knock it off guys." Ryan gruffly called out as he stepped into the circle and grabbed Seth.

"Come on ese, we're just goofing around." One of the guys stepped up to Ryan, the other's quickly fell in line behind him.

"Hey man, we were just having a little fun," Seth slurred obviously drunk.

"Yea looks like it." Ryan glanced over the shoulder of the other men, and saw Arturo give him the heads up nod.

"Come on ese step off, we were just having fun. Just cause you're the big bad boxer don't step up and think you're all tough." The guy shoved Ryan.

Ryan didn't give him a chance to strike, after the shove Ryan faked left then tipped right and slammed him in the liver with a hard left hook, following it with a devastating right straight right to the head, knocking him back cold. All hell began to break loose as Arturo jumped in from behind and waved Ryan off. "Go ese, you can't get in trouble, go."

Ryan grabbed Seth and looked back to Summer and Marissa, "Run!" The four of them took off, Ryan shoved Seth through the opening in the gate then jumped over the side himself keeping an eye on Seth as he ran behind Marissa and Summer.

"This is us," Marissa called out hitting the keyless entry to her car showing Ryan which car it was. Out of instinct Ryan opened to door shoved Seth in and jumped in himself. By the time he got in Marissa already had the car started and was ready to drive off.

"Oh my God! We could have been killed back there!" Summer cried out. "I told you Chino wasn't a good idea."

"Summer it wasn't that bad." Marissa tried to calm her.

"Wasn't that bad! Wasn't that bad! Where were you when the gang brawl broke out."

"That was freaking awesome man! Awwesome!" Seth leaned into Ryan's face. "You're cool man, I've only known you like," Seth held up his hand and began to count on his fingers, "this long," he threw his whole hand at Ryan, "But you're cool."

"Thanks man." Ryan shook his head and laughed.

"Oh my God can we get wasted boy home now please." Summer huffed.

"Yeah it should be good now, you can just drop me off here. My keys are at Arturo's so I'll just walk around until things cool off."

"No way am I going to do that, we'll drive you around," Marissa turned to see Summer shooting her a look.

"Hey I have an idea!" Seth called out.

"Oh great," Summer responded.

"I have a pool house, you can stay there tonight and we'll bring you back in the morning."

"I couldn't impose man."

"It's not imposing, you saved my ass, I put you up and it's all even… It's a good idea… Home Jeeves!"

"Is that ok with you Ryan?" Marissa politely asked.

"It's kind of a hike to bring me back tomorrow."

"I don't have a problem with it," She turned back for a split second and shot him a smile.

"I guess I don't have much of a choice now do I." He smiled back to her.

"Great man! We can have bagels!"

Ryan shook his head and laughed, something made him feel like this was going to be a lot more than he'd ever expected.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"We're here," Marissa looked into the backseat at Ryan as she pulled the car into the Cohen's driveway.

"Thank God!" Summer sighed from the passenger seat.

Ryan scanned what he could of the Cohen house, through the dark. "Wow, what's this their summer home?" He tried not to sound bitter with the joke. "I guess we'd better get him up." He motioned over to a passed out Seth.

"Yeah," Marissa gritted her teeth in response.

"Come on Coop, let's move it along here, I am so ready to be home." Summer waved her hand at Marissa in a hurry up motion.

Marissa rolled her eyes and got out of the car moving towards the back passenger door to wake Seth. Ryan already out of the car reached for the door handle the same time as Marissa, his hand meeting hers at the handle. For a moment he let his hand linger on top on hers. As she looked up and smiled at him, he quickly retracted his hand almost embarrassed at the physical contact.

"Sorry," he mumbled taking at step away from her.

"It's ok," she smiled at him with a soft pressed smile. Ryan studied her face for a moment trying to decipher exactly what kind of smile she was giving him.

"Hey! We're here!" Seth suddenly woken, called out. He drunkenly fumbled out of the car almost falling down, but caught himself with the aide of Ryan's shoulder. "This my friend, is my pad, my crib, my home of homes." He told Ryan his voice near a shout.

"Yeah I kinda figured that. You might want to lower your voice though, you're kind of yelling."

"Oh!" Seth dropped his voice too barely above a whisper. "Ok man, just to let you know I'm still really drunk."

"Figured that."

"You're not one with the words are you?" Seth watched as both Ryan and Marissa shot him a look. "I think that's my cue to leave… Look you just go up here and through the gate and the pool house is on your left… or right… or…"

"I'll find it, as long as there's no guard dogs or anything to attack me."

"Nope," Seth shook his head, "No dogs, just Cohens." Seth nodded his head a few more times, then drunkenly started to make his way inside. "I'll see you inside."

"I don't think I've ever seen Seth Cohen drunk." Marissa laughed.

"He's pretty gone, I should probably go make sure he's ok… His parents are going to wig out or anything are they?"

"I doubt it, Sandy and Kirsten are pretty cool." Marissa inched a little bit closer to him.

"Good…" As soon as Ryan said that, a small crash was heard from the Cohen's back yard. "That didn't sound good… I really should go find him." He moved in a bit closer to Marissa. "I guess I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah, I mean you have to get back to Chino somehow right?"

"Y-You don't have to take me, I mean I have people I can call."

"No, it's no problem really, I want to." She gave him the smile again, and bit down slightly on her lip.

"Well then I'll see you in the morning." He moved in a bit more preparing to kiss her.

"COOP! Cohen's home can we leave please?" Summer yelled from the front seat of the car.

Marissa rolled her eyes and sighed, their moment broken, again. "I guess I should go."

"Yeah." Ryan nodded a few times.

"Through the back gate and to your right, you can miss the pool house." She turned and got into her car.

"Thanks." Ryan nodded and watched as her car drove away.

"Dude what took you so long?" Seth mumbled from the couch in the pool house, and watched as Ryan shrugged. "Once again not much from the words… well you can have the bed it's over there, I'm perfectly good on this here couch, it's my friend." He patted the side of the cushion.

"You don't drink much do you?"

Seth drunkenly shook his head, "First time being really drunk, it's kind of fun."

"We'll see how much you like it in the morning." Ryan responded taking off his shoes, socks and shirt before crawling into the bed.

"Yeah well it's your fault, you're the one who showed me how to use that keg."

"My fault, I didn't force the beer down your throat I was outside with Marissa while you were getting sloppy drunk."

"Yeah probably wasn't the best way to impress Summer was it?"

"No I don't think so."

"Hey at least she knows I exist now."

"Yea." Ryan half laughed as he answered Seth.

"So how long were you and Marissa outside?"

"I don't know a couple of hours maybe."

"You like her?" Seth rolled over to face Ryan, all of a sudden serious.

"Yea she's a cool chick." Ryan casually replied.

"No man I mean do you like her," he tried to emphasize the 'her' but it only came out as a drunken slur.

"Yea Seth, I like her. She's… I don't know, there's just something about her."

Seth sat up on the couch a deep look of concern crossed his face, it was as if he'd suddenly sobered up. "Don't hurt her."

"I don't plan too man," Ryan raised an eyebrow at Seth's concern.

"I mean it. She's already been hurt enough by the guys she's dated. She's been hurt too much, too deeply, and she doesn't deserve to get hurt again ever." The men exchanged looks of affirmation. Seth's looks saying that he would find a way to hurt Ryan if he hurt Marissa. Ryan's saying that he would never do anything to hurt her. As the looks faded so did Seth's sudden sobriety, he fell back onto the couch. "Man the way I'm talking you'd think I was in love with Marissa and not Summer… Aw but it is Summer who's my love, the girl I've pined over since I was ten."

Ryan listened as Seth babbled about Summer until he finally passed out. And as Ryan stared up at the ceiling and started to fall asleep he found his mind drifting onto the fact that the boy from Chino was falling asleep at a house in Newport Beach, and as his eyes drifted close his last vision was of the face of a girl from Newport Beach, a girl he once thought he'd never see again, who he would be seeing again in mere hours.

"Morning mother," Seth stumbled into his parent's kitchen and greeted Kirsten Cohen.

"You look like hell son," Sandy still wet from surfing didn't look all that great himself, but felt the need to point out his son's rough night.

"Yeah well, don't talk too loud cause it hurts," Seth rubbed his temples.

"Have a bit too much last night?" Kirsten laughed to herself at the sight of her hung over son, only to jump in shock as someone entered into kitchen from the back yard. "Hi," she responded in surprise to the sandy blonde young man who was now standing in her kitchen.

"Oh yeah, mom, dad, this is Ryan…" Seth reached up and covered his mouth as he tried to whisper to Ryan, "What's your last name?"

"Atwood." Ryan answered not trying to act like Seth's parents couldn't hear them.

"This is Ryan Atwood, he stayed the night. He's Marissa's…." Seth looked to Ryan as if he was looking for a word to describe his relationship to Marissa.

"Friend." Ryan answered.

"Oh well any friend of Marissa's is a friend of the Cohen's." Sandy perked up, "I'm Sandy Cohen and this is my wife Kirsten."

"Yeah it was Ryan's party we went to last night." Seth told his parents.

"Well if it was your party how did you end up staying here?" Kirsten asked.

"It's kind of a long story." Ryan answered then looked to Seth as if to tell him that he needed to explain it to his parents.

"Yeah, I was drunk and there was this fight and…"

"Fight?" Sandy and Kirsten both exclaimed.

"Yeah but Ryan being a boxer well he saved me and…"

Ryan cleared his throat to signal to Seth to stop talking, "Look man, I just called Marissa and she's on her way so I'm going to go outside and wait for her."

"You don't want some breakfast man?"

"No, I really should get back to Chino."

"Chino?" Sandy raised an eyebrow, "Why would you need to get back to Chino."

"That's where I live. And I really should get back there, so I'm going to go wait for Marissa, but it was nice meeting you two Mr and Mrs. Cohen… And Seth…"

"I'll catch you later man… we'll hang."

"Ok," Ryan nodded and waved quikcly making his way towards the door.

Seth turned back to his parents, "He's not much for the words."

Ryan felt a huge sigh of relief as he saw Marissa pulling into the driveway as he was walking out the door. "Thanks for coming to get me," he said to her as he climbed into the front seat of her car.

"No problem like I told you I wanted to." She smiled at him again. "So did you get to meet the Cohen's?"

"Yeah."

She could tell by the tone of his voice, that the meeting had not went so well, "That bad? I mean Sandy and Kirsten…"

"No they seem like really nice people, it's just Seth…"

"Let me guess, he wouldn't shut up and told them far too much and now they have the complete wrong impression of you."

"That's exactly what happened." Ryan let a bit of surprise drift into his voice.

"Yeah well that's exactly how Seth is. But don't worry, I mean they're like my second parents and they're really big on giving second chances. They'll learn to love you."

"You say that like I'm going to be spending a lot of time with them."

"Sorry I guess I just assumed that…"

"No don't be sorry." They exchanged a quick look, only to spend the rest of the trip back to Chino in a near complete silence. Until they reached Ryan's house.

"So this is your place?" Marissa asked as she pulled the car to a stop in front of Joey's modest house.

"Actually it's Joey's I just stay here. Kinda in between places, but it helps out living with my trainer. I mean it sucks sometimes because I can't like sneak a bowl of ice cream but… I'm rambling."

"Looks like Seth is already rubbing off on you."

"God I hope not," Ryan laughed. Marissa joined in his laughter only to have it end with the two of them smiling at each other. "I should let you get back to Newport, I mean I'm sure you have stuff to do and me well…"

"I'm sure you have more important stuff to do as well…"

Ryan shook his head, "I can think of anything that's more important than spending this time with you." He smiled at her softly.

The air around them seemed to lift and Marissa could feel the world starting to disappear. It was a feeling she hadn't felt in so long, that she had forgotten how nice it was. She felt safe with Ryan, something she never thought she'd feel again. What Marissa Cooper knew at that very moment was that she was about to dive in head first without checking to see how deep the water was. She was going to take a blind leap of faith with this man, but she wasn't about to let him know it. Even though he could already tell that he was going to do the same thing.

"When do I get to see you again?" Ryan asked, trying not to seem too eager.

Marissa gave him a slight grin, giving him the impression that she wasn't going to let him have much power when it came to her. "Well, you found me, so I guess this time when I'm ready I'll find you."

"What's that suppose to mean? You gonna play head games with me?"

"No I don't play games."

"So when do I get to see you again?" Ryan asked a bot more forceful this time, as he started to get out of Marissa car.

"I said I don't play games. I didn't say I wasn't full of surprises." She gave him another slight grin and drove, leaving Ryan there shaking his head once again wondering exactly what he was getting himself into.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hey guys I wouldn't usually do something like this but for the record I love writingO.C. fics, and as much as I write them for myself I also write them for people to read. And since this story hasn't had the response I got with Curve of the Earth (which I haven't forgotten about it's just I kinda wrote like the best chapter ever for that fics now everything else I write towrds itjust seems bad in comparision, but I'm working on it), how about you guys who are following this one recommend it to your friends let's get it out there. Or at least let me know what I'm doing wrong to turn people off from this one so I can fix it.

Chapter Five

Heights Avenue Gym was a home away from home for Ryan. But then again considering the fact that he spent more time at the gym, then he did in his own bed, it made since that he considered the place a home.

To Marissa Cooper, Heights Avenue Gym was not exactly what she'd been expecting. It took her over an hour to find the place once she got to Chino. She hadn't wanted to call Ryan and forewarn him of her visit, fearing that he might tell her not to come; that was a chance Marissa didn't want to take. So instead she drove every street in Chino looking for a gym, she figured there couldn't be many there. And her assumption was right thus far, Heights was the first gym she'd seen and with any luck she'd find Ryan somewhere inside the run down cement block building.

She pulled her car into a parking spot close to the door and tried to ignore the glaring eyes of two young boys outside the building.

"I think you got the wrong place honey." One of the boys called out.

"Beverly Hills, is that way baby." The other boys taunted behind his buddy.

Marissa felt her heart jump a few beats as she walked faster into the building hoping thing would be better once she got inside. They weren't. As soon as Marissa walked inside, she felt like everyone in the room stopped what they were doing, and started staring at her. A pair of tattooed men in the corner lifting weights dropped their barbells and whistled at her. Another man mumbled something under his breath as he passed her on the way out the door. She scanned the room looking for Ryan, a part of her inside praying he was there somewhere. Noticing her confusion, the man behind the locker rental counter called to her.

"Do you need some help Miss?" He asked her tossing a dirty towel into a laundry basket.

"Umm yeah, do you know Ryan Atwood by chance?"

"Yeah I know Atwood."

"He isn't here by chance is he?"

The man pointed towards the far back corner of the room; "He's over there on the heavy bags."

"Thanks." Marissa gratefully smiled at the man, who simply nodded back at her.

Slowly she made her way towards where the man had point, half way there she made out his frame in a pair of boxing trunks and a wife beater. A sigh of relief crossed her lips, and no longer could she contain a smile of anticipation. His breathing was heavy, she could make into out by the time she was within twenty feet of him. For a moment she stood back and watched how graceful he was moving with the bag, striking it at what seemed to be perfect timing to her. When he came to a slowing point, she made her move.

"Ryan." She called out and watched as he snapped around at the sound of his name. She watched as a look of shock crossed his face, and she responded to him with a smile. "I told you I'd find you."

Ryan spit his mouthpiece into his hand and began to remove his punching gloves. Still he stared at her with a look of shock, trying to hide the half grin he felt creeping up. "Well you found me alright, can't say I expected it to be here… How exactly did you find me?"

"I drove around Chino all day until I found a gym, then took a leap of faith that you'd be inside."

"That's ballsy." He let the grin show as she shrugged at him.

Marissa rolled her eyes as she heard another whistle come, this time from a man who had just finished sparing and was getting out of the boxing ring. "I had to deal with that though." She made reference to the whistle.

"Yeah," Ryan resisted his urge to go punch the guy into the mouth in order to make sure he never whistled at any woman again. "There's benches out back, you wanna go talk?" He pointed to the back door.

"Sure." Marissa shrugged and moved past Ryan towards the door he's point towards.

Ryan waited until Marissa passed him, then turned back and gave the man who'd whistled a stern and possessive glare. Turning back, he followed Marissa out the door, he couldn't help but notice the way she moved as she walked, her hips subtly swaying, her body moving like silk, she was certainly something to be admired.

Marissa saw the benches Ryan had mentioned but moved past them and took a seat on a swing in the dilapidated playground behind the gym. She patted the swing next to her in a motion for Ryan to come sit next to her.

Ryan sat next to her, and gave his swing a slight push; "I haven't been on these swings in years. When I was younger, before I boxed here, we used to come after school and play on these swings. They haven't changed much, I can't imagine that these swings were ever new."

"Well I can tell you this place wasn't what I expected at all."

"What were you expecting a day spa?" He sarcastically remarked.

"Well I am from Newport Beach." She joked back.

"Yeah well," he gave his swing a hard push and moved into the air, "This isn't Newport girlie." He yelled out bringing his swing to a harsh stop with his feet, and resting his hands firmly on the chains.

"So I noticed," she glanced over to him. As she did a nasty scar on his right middle knuckle caught her attention. It was a bold move, but she reached up and grabbed his hand from the chain, taking Ryan by surprise and herself for that matter. "Wow, your hands are really soft, I would say especially for a boxer, but you're the only boxer I know."

She gently ran her fingers all over his hand, sending chills up and down his spine. Ryan knew he'd never felt anything like it before, but he didn't want to make too much of the situation. "Yeah well, it helps when you wear gloves with just about everything you do."

"You wear gloves at work?" Marissa felt stupid as soon as she asked the question. "Of course you do, you're a boxer."

"Well I-I-uh," He tried to focus on speaking, and not on the feeling of her fingers on his hand. "I work construction five days a week too. But I wear gloves at work, because my well like you said I'm a boxer, they're important so I take really good care of them."

"You take care of your hands huh?" She smoothed her hand over his again, "You sure you don't know something about those day spas you mentioned earlier?" She laughed and bit her lips a little bit as she noticed she'd gotten a laugh out of him.

"You're funny."

"Always." She returned her attention to his hand, and ran her finger over the scar that had initially caught her attention. "Did this happen boxing?" She asked.

Ryan shook his head at her, "No in Juvie. Way before I started boxing."

"Oh, well we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

He gave her a quick shrug, "My first week there, my first fight there too. In was a one punch fight, I knocked one tooth out and cracked the other in half, it put him in the infirmary, and gave me four extra months there, a month for every stitch I had to get."

For the first time, Marissa saw pain in his eyes. She hadn't seen any there when he was lying in the hospital bed, but there on the swings as he spoke of his tainted past she saw pain and shame. He was proud of who he was becoming, but not of whom he'd been. Seeing this Marissa felt her heart jump in her chest, it was both a familiar and unfamiliar feeling at the same time. She hadn't felt it in so long, and yet now she wondered if she'd ever felt it before. His past didn't matter to her, and it never would. She wanted to show him that. She brought his hand up to her lips. Closing her eyes she gently kissed the scar of his past. Then brought her eyes up to meet his. As their eyes locked, she could see the pain melt from his eyes.

"I should get back inside, I hadn't gotten much accomplished before you get here, but I'll walk you out to your car."

Marissa shook her head at him, "Will you teach me something about boxing?" She asked as they walked inside.

"What do you want to know?"

"I don't know anything." She asked as they walked inside stopping by the heavy bag where Ryan's gym bag was. "Like this thing," she pushed the bag. "What's this for?" She knew she was intruding on his work time but she was trying to extend her time with him as long as he would possibly let her.

Ryan jumped in front of the heavy bag and caught it before it hit Marissa. "This is a heavy bag. And in order to use it properly, you can't look at it as just a bag." He told her. "This is a man, this is your opponent."

"So it's your enemy?"

"Not your enemy, because if you view your opponent as the enemy you'll lose every time. You have to respect the other fighter; you don't respect an enemy. Anyway…" He gave the bag a slight push. "This is a man, you have to move with it, get it's pattern down and strike at the right time. And in boxing everything is backwards, so if he moves slightly right, you want to move left, but you do that by pushing off your right toe, like this," he demonstrated for her.

"Then when he moves back in you hit him?"

"No, you never hit him when he's coming at you, see what happens," he waited for the bag to come back in then struck it, and got thrown off balance. "Doing that is like punching a brick wall, it's only going to thrown you off, hurt you, and make you tired because you can't get enough extension and there's no power to a punch with no extension. But if you wait until just the right time…" Marissa watched as Ryan wait for the bag to swing back, then unleashed a viscous combo of two jabs, a right uppercut and a left hook on the bag, making indentation and barely excerpting any energy. "You then have the advantage because it tell you when to hit, just like any person in a fight tells you when to hit."

Marissa stepped back from him for a moment, in awe of how graceful he had moved. It was then that she felt it again, the same thing she'd felt outside only stronger.

Ryan saw the look on her face and panicked for a moment that he'd somehow scared her, maybe he'd been too harsh with his words. Or the fact that he punched things had frightened her. "Are you ok?" He asked trying to mask the worry in his voice.

"Come here." She gently whispered.

Ryan moved in slowly almost as if her words were drawing him to her. It was a that very moment she reached up to his face and there in the Heights Avenue Gym with two dozen other people around them, the world failed to exist, because Marissa Cooper leaned in kissed Ryan Atwood like neither of them had ever been kissed before.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"Bite?" Marissa held her ice cream bar out to Ryan, who shook his head.

"Bad for my diet."

"Come on take a bit, you know you want to." She held the bar out directly in front of his face as they made their way down the beach.

"This is so bad for my diet," he said before taking a quick and small bite of her ice cream.

"Are you always in training?" She asked leading him into the lifeguard house.

"Yep, never know when Joey's going to tell me he got me a fight. Which in this case is this weekend."

"Oh that's right, you have a fight Saturday… Too bad you're going to miss a great time. Newport parties are always the best, gossip, drinking, and scandal. Sure you wanna miss it for some silly fight." She joked.

"Sure you can't skip the party and watch a silly fight?"

"Wish I could but my mom's hosting," she sat down on the floor and patted the ground next to her.

Ryan sat down next to Marissa, slightly ajar giving her enough seat the scoot back and lean herself against him. "This is a really nice spot," he commented as he watched the waves crash into the beach.

"I used to come here all the time when I was younger. First with my dad, sometimes with whoever I was dating, but mostly by myself whenever I needed to think, kinda like you and the swings behind the gym."

"Yeah but I never brought girls to those swings."

"You're telling me I am the only girl you've ever been on those swings?" Marissa questioned him, not believing for a second that someone like him hadn't used the swings as bait before.

"Just you and Theresa."

"Who's Theresa?"

"You remember Arturo from my birthday party. She's his sister. She's the only other girl I've ver really dated. We grew up together, so we played on the swings together as kids."

"So what happened with you guys?"

"Childhood sweethearts are over rated. I went to juvie; she met someone else, got pregnant, got married… What about you what am I like the millionth guy you've brought here?"

Marissa shook her at him, "Not even close. I've only had thr…" she caught herself, she liked Ryan but there were still things she wasn't quiet ready to tell him yet. "Two real relationships, Luke and Alex. Ironically Luke was my childhood sweetheart, who cheated on me in high school which I tell tried to kill myself and ended up in a mental institution." She waited for a reaction for Ryan secretly praying that what she'd just told him wouldn't be something to scare him off.

"Well, I guess anything is an improvement after that," he tried to joke in order to mask the disgust in his voice. He wasn't disgusted at Marissa and her actions, but at the fact that anyone would ever do anything to hurt her.

"Yeah well you know you do crazy things when you're a teenager."

"So what about Alex, tell me about him."

"Her." Marissa corrected him and watched as his eyes slightly widened.

"Her?"

"Like I said you do crazy things when you're a teenager. I was coming off a rough time and we clicked, I can't really explain it to you Ryan. I mean no more than I can explain why…"

"We click?" He reached his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him.

"Yeah, why we clicked." She rested her head against his chest.

Ryan leaned down and kissed her temple, "You sure you can't skip that party," he slid his lips back and kissed around her ear causing Marissa to giggle.

"I wish, I really hate them… But maybe we could meet up after?"

"Sounds good… I don't want you at my fight anyway, you've got this really good habit of distracting me."

"Whose fault is that?"

"Yours," he reached his hand to her face pushing it towards his. Slowly he moved in and kissed her.

The Earth could have opened up and swallowed her and Marissa wouldn't have cared. She loved kissing him; she loved being with him. He felt safe, like he would never let anything hurt her ever again, and that was a feeling Marissa could live with. However at that moment something rare happened and rather than the Earth opening up, the sky opened up.

"It never rains in Newport," Marissa told Ryan as she fumbled with the keys to her apartment.

"You shivering," Ryan pressed his wet body against Marissa trying to give her warmth as she tried to open her door.

The door popped open and for a moment they separated, "I'm going to go change, the bathroom's over there."

"Yeah I know," Ryan took his gym bag with him and changed clothes, before he took a seat on Marissa's couch, and began flipping channels.

"Ok so I look like a drowned rat," Marissa called to Ryan as she started to walk back downstairs. "I'm going to blow dry my hair really quick." She walked behind the couch and started towards the bathroom.

"You looked beautiful," Ryan told her as he reached back and grabbed her arm, pulling her down to him, attempting to kiss her.

Marissa gave into his advances and came over the couch into his lap, "I… wish… you… didn't… have… to… go…" she told him in between kisses. "The weather's bad, can't you stay a bit longer?"

"I'm already late," he pulled back from her.

She caught his face between her hands and brought it within inches of hers, "So what's a little longer?" She moved in kissing him deeply.

The kiss deepened and became more passionate, Ryan knew he should leave. He knew that Joey was going to be pissed that he was late for training so close to a fight, but he felt prepared for his fight and a few extra moments with Marissa were something to be cherished. She moved across him, straddling his lap to hold him in place, and ran her fingers through his hair as she continued to kiss him, hoping he'd forget he needed to go.

"Oh my God," the front door slammed, not phasing Ryan and Marissa who continued to kiss. "Why is it raining in Newport." Summer's voice rang irritation as she walked into the living room. "COOP!" She yelled when she saw Ryan and Marissa making out on the sofa. "EW! You have a room."

"Oh hey Sum," Marissa greeted her friend and wiped her mouth as she pulled away from Ryan.

"Hey Summer."

"Chino," she gave him a luke warm reception. "This is like the fourth time I've come home to you two making out on my sofa, is it so hard to just walk up a few stairs so I don't have to witness your grossness?"

"Um Summer I bought the sofa." Marissa told her.

"That is so far from the point, which is that I don't need to see you and Chino constantly making out."

"I have a name you know."

"Yeah it's Chino. No one has real names with me, I mean hello Marissa is like my best friend and she's Coop."

"It's a term of endearment really Ryan, just accept it." Marissa laughed.

"Is that what it is?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh whatever, you're Chino. I'm going to the kitchen, don't be here when I get back."

"You're kicking me out?"

"If that's what you want to call it."

"Summer?" Marissa scolded her friend.

"What?" Summer grinned and turned going into the kitchen.

"Sorry she's…"

"Summer…"

"Yeah."

"I need to get going anyway, like I said I'm already late," Ryan stood and started making his way towards the door with Marissa in tow.

"Ok, will I see you tomorrow?"

Ryan leaned in and gave her a succession of short kisses; "We'll have to see. I've got a busy day…"

"Yeah I know, work, the gym…"

"Just a normal day in the life of Ryan Atwood, it's a wonder I have time for a girlfriend." He started to kiss her but noticed when she jumped back.

"Girlfriend…?" Marissa tried to conceal her slight smile. "Is that what I am?"

"Y—Yeah I mean I guess I was assuming and… uh… I mean if you don't…"

"No. I like the idea of being your girlfriend." She moved in and kissed him. "So I'll call you tonight when you get home from the gym and we'll talk about tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I talk to you then." He gave her one last kiss before he rushed out the door; he was in shock at what had just taken place. He hadn't meant to call her his girlfriend and the fact that she wanted to be that elated him. Ryan knew that he was getting in over his head, he'd known that from day one, but in was something he just didn't care about.

Summer waited until she heard the door close, then came out of the kitchen, "Thank God."

"Next time you decide to kick someone out, you want to discuss it with me first." It was rare Marissa got annoyed with her best friend, but the way Summer had just treated Ryan annoyed her.

"Ok but he is here like every time I come home, and you two are always like making out. It gets old, besides it's not like you two are serious or anything, right?"

"Well…"

"Well what? Okay I know I pushed you to date and all because before him you hadn't had a date in like a decade, but first I didn't mean pick up some guy from Chino, and second I didn't mean get into a serious relationship… I mean are you ready for that Coop?"

"I like him, a lot. And… he makes me feel safe."

"Yeah but we all know you're not the best judge of character, I mean there was Luke, and then there was he who we do not speak of, and then Alex, who while a nice person did have a bit of that scary lesbian vibe to her."

"Well Ryan knows about Luke and Alex."

"What about…"

"No and right now he doesn't need to know about that, I'll tell him when I'm ready."

"Ok but back to the subject, are you really ready for this, I mean things with Chino, it's like boom boom, boom, intense quick. Can you handle that?"

Marissa nodded her head, "Yeah I can. There just something about him, its like he gets me. And everything I've been through even without telling him about it, I feel like he's been there too. I mean nothing I tell him even phases him. And for the first time Summer I feel like someone really understands me in a way that I can't even comprehend. I'm falling and I don't want to be caught unless it's by Ryan."

'Well if you like him that much, I guess I can deal with Chino… But he needs to understand he will always be Chino and if he so much as thinks about hurting you there will be a serious rage blackout."

"You're late kid. Really late." Joey caught Ryan on his way into the gym.

"Sorry Joey, I was in Newport and I lost track of time and traffic was hell."

"Newport what the hell were you doing in Newport?"

"You remember the pretty girl from the hospital there?" He waited for Joey to nod in response. "That's Marissa, I've been seeing her for a little bit."

"I didn't know you were seeing someone… You keeping things from me kid, how long you been seeing her?"

Ryan shrugged, "I don't about a month now."

"About a month… You been seeing a girl for about a month, and you haven't told ole Joe about her yet? So she's a Newport girl, is she Daddy's little rich girl."

"Nope, that's her roommate. I don't Marissa different; she's not like anyone I've ever met before. It's like on the surface we wouldn't have anything in common, but… I think we've got more in common then even I know. You know, kinda like you and me."

"Hey don't start comparing me to some broad, now." Joey laughed.

"I don't know Joey, when I'm with her it's just… I don't know she makes me feel different like I'm something you know."

"Ryan, kid you should needed a girl to make you feel like something."

"I know. I just feel different around her like nothing I've done matters. She gets me, and I've never felt this comfortable around a girl, not even Theresa. I want to be with Marissa as much as I can and she wants to be with me and it's like nothing else exists."

"Well kid, I'm happy for you but you also gotta remember, that you've got a career to think about. You can't keep being late like this, I mean we've come too far for you to let it go cause you're going gaga over some chick. Remember women are bad for the legs."

"I thought that was sex?"

"Women, sex, same thing right?"

"I'm not sleeping with Marissa, if that's what you're worried about. I wanna do things right with her, not treat her like some girl I just picked up in a bar."

"Still you gotta a career…"

"Yeah I know Joey, and I'm totally focused on that, I can manage both. Plenty of men are boxers and boyfriends. I'm not going to throw my career away for Marissa, but I'm not going to throw Marissa away for my career, I need to see where this could go, both things I owe it to myself."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

"Marissa, it's so good to see you," Kirsten Cohen greeted Marissa at the door with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"It's good to see you too Kirsten," when it came to Newport parties, the Cohen's were Marissa's light at the end of the tunnel. "Is Seth around?"

"Yeah he's outside somewhere talking to Sandy."

"Ok I'm going to go find him." Marissa nodded to Kirsten and began making her way outside, only to get side tracked.

"Marissa honey you came." Julie Cooper grabbed her daughter by the arm. "It's a really good thing you did, because I was just trying to explain to people why my daughter wasn't here yet."

"Well, I'm not staying long mother, I have plans." She told Julie, as she continued to make her way outside.

"Plans? What could possible be more important than your mother's charity function?" Julie followed behind her.

"Oh I don't know anything."

"Marissa, this is important to me."

"I know, so I'm here but what I do afterwards is my business… Dad!" Marissa ran to her father, who was standing talking to Seth and Sandy.

"Hey kiddo," Jimmy responded as Marissa jumped into his arms.

"Thank God you're here," she whispered into his ear.

"Yeah well Seth here," Jimmy gave Seth a sharp slap on the back, "Was just telling Sandy and I about your new boyfriend."

"Oh was he," Marissa tried to mask that she was talking through her teeth, but made sure to shoot Seth a harsh glance.

"Well, it just kinda came up in topic and I…"

"Started rambling?" She asked him.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go get a drink now, before I'm missing a larynx." Seth made a hasty exit. He started to make his way towards the bar, when he noticed Summer standing waiting for a drink. Quickly Seth turned around. "No, no, you're not in high school anymore Seth, you can do this, she's just a girl." He told himself then turned back around and walked up to the bar. "Hey Summer."

Summer looked at him strangely for a moment, trying to figure out why he felt the need to talk to her. "Cohen." She responded in her usual Summer tone, which made Seth smile.

"Sooo, you're here at the bar… alone."

"Thank you Captain Obvious… I was going to go talk to Coop but she seems tied up with the parentals."

"Yeah they're talking about Ryan."

"How could they be talking about Ryan, she hasn't told her parents she's dating anyone."

"Well…"

"You didn't Cohen," she watched as he blushed, and then reached up and slapped him in the chest. "You idiot, she didn't want her parents to know that."

"How was I suppose to know that."

"God Cohen!" Summer rolled her eyes and walked off.

"At least she knows your name…" Seth told himself as he watched Summer walk off.

"Why didn't you tell me you were seeing someone kiddo?"

"Well… I've been so busy, and I haven't really got the chance to sit down and talk to you, but I was going to tell you I swear." Marissa felt like a five-year-old child who'd just stolen the last cookie from the jar.

"Tell him about what, honey?" Julie walked up and interjected herself into the conversation.

"Nothing, I'll talk to you about it later Dad."

"No honey, anything you need to tell your father you can tell me as well."

Marissa sighed knowing there was no way to get her mother to leave them alone. "I was telling Dad about the guy I'm seeing."

"You're seeing someone! Honey that's great its long over due that you start dating again. So what's his name, or more importantly who are his parents… No wait I bet he's not from here, a USC student, rich family from the East maybe?"

"His name is Ryan, and he's from Chino." Marissa paused and waited for the explosion.

"CHINO! Where on Earth did you meet someone from Chino…? Oh my God my daughter is dating a hood."

"Julie, who Marissa dates is her business." Jimmy firmly stated to his ex wife.

"Oh that's just great the felon is telling me it's already for our daughter to be dating someone who's probably a criminal as well."

"That's my cue to leave," Marissa leaned in and gave her father a kiss on the cheek, "Bye Dad."

Marissa casually walked away from her bickering parents, ignoring her mothers pleads and calls. She relaxed for a moment as she paused to tell Sandy goodbye.

"I can't blame you for leaving, I'd leave too if it weren't my house."

"Yeah I can honestly say these parties got less interesting after I stopped drinking," she joked to Sandy.

Kirsten stopped and laughed at Marissa's comment, "Well we still drink and they're still not all that interesting. So I take it the boyfriend situation didn't go over so well with your mom."

"Not exactly… I know you guys didn't exactly get the best impression of Ryan, but I promise he really is a great guy."

"Well I've got an idea," Sandy arched his eyebrows at her before continuing to speak. "How about you bring him over for dinner sometime, let him change that impression."

"Sandy that's a great idea, Marissa we could invite your dad and Hailey, and your mom, that way he could meet them under less intimidating circumstance."

"Wow honey Julie Cooper is not intimidating, she's just evil… Really do you want to scary the poor kid off like that, and make me suffer yet another evening with Julie Cooper."

"Sandy…" Kirsten scolded her husband for his comments. "Just think about it Marissa, and if Ryan's as good of a guy as you say he is, which I'm sure he is, then everything will go great."

Marissa politely smiled, "I'll think about it Kirsten, right now I'm kinda late to meet him, so I'd better get going."

"Hey Marissaaaa," Seth scooted his arm around her as she started to walk away.

"Seth I have to go, but don't worry later I'm going to kill you." She shot him a half-kidding smile, mixed with serious eyes.

Ryan winced as he sat on the railing to the lifeguard house, Marissa was late and he was in pain. He didn't want her to think he would ever stand her up, but he didn't know how much longer he'd be able to just hang out without something to distract him from his pain. He tried to focus on the waves, the water, and the moonlight, but one of his eyes was nearly swollen shut so that was making things difficult. His fight hadn't been won with ease and had gone the full ten rounds before Ryan scored a unanimous decision over his opponent. And as soon as the ring doctor had checked him out and give him the thumbs up, he was out the door more than ready to see Marissa. He zipped up his sweatshirt, as the breeze off the ocean grew colder. Even at the beginning of summer, the weather on a California beach could grow quiet cold.

Marissa pulled her car to a stop in the parking lot near the lifeguard house, before she even got out of her car she could make out his figure sitting on the railing. It was him, she could already tell from the distance, but even more so she could feel it in her stomach as she started walking closer and closer to where he was.

"Hey," she whispered in his ear as she wrapped her arms around him.

Ryan sharply winced, then responded through gritted teeth, "Careful."

"Oh I'm so sorry," she quickly withdrew her arms and made her way around to face him. "Oh my god, are you ok, what happened to you." She tried to mask a hint of tearing up in her voice.

"Occupational hazard. I get punched in the face for a living remember?"

She lifted her fingers up and barely traced out his swollen eye, "I'm sorry, are you ok?"

"A little sore, but I'll feel better in a few days. I'm a fast healer." He gave her a half smiled trying not to break open his split lip.

"I knew you boxed, but I guess I don't know I guess it was like play boxing where no one gets hurt."

"Marissa when you met me I was laying in a hospital bed from a fight."

"Point taken," she took his hand and led him inside the lifeguard house. This was their place now; she made that decision in her head right then. She never wanted to spend time there with anyone else ever again; he erased all the bad memories from it and brought her new one. They took seats on the floor; Marissa sat a few feet away being sure to give Ryan space, knowing he was in pain.

Ryan reached over and pulled Marissa against him, "I'm not made of glass."

"I know I just don't want to hurt you… So did you win?"

"Yeah I won, and after I looked around for you, only to remember you had to go to some party tonight. Did you have fun?"

"Never, those parties are always the same thing a bunch of stuff people talking about each other and whatever is the scandal of the moment while they drink far too much."

"So get drunk with them, I'm sure it makes those people much more interesting."

"Yeah it used too."

"Used too?"

"Rehab when I was seventeen, sober three years running."

Ryan cocked his head back and gave his a side glance and half smile, this look made Marissa'a heart melt, "Am I ever going to stop learning new things about you?"

"Sure hope not, things would get boring then." She let out a smile laugh and felt Ryan kiss her temple.

"Sure would, certainly gotta keep things interesting."Ryan kissed her temple again, but he could tell just by the air about her, that Marissa had something on her mind. "What's up?"

"Nothing just thinking…"

"About?"

Marissa sighed, she couldn't believe she was about to do this, "So Seth let it slip to… probably everyone on the planet that I'm seeing someone… And that everyone on the planet just so happened to include my parents."

"Really?" Oh Ryan did not like where this one was going.

"Yeah, and then Sandy and Kirsten had this idea that you could come over to their house for dinner sometime and I know you and the Cohens didn't exactly hit it off but they're really great people and you're really great and they'll like you because I like yo…"

"Marissa! Marissa!" He tried to silence her, "You sound like Seth."

"How would you know I sound like Seth, what you guys talk now?"

"He doesn't have many friends," Ryan joked to her.

"So anyway dinner at the Cohens and you could meet my parents in a neutral environment, that way I don't have my mother breathing down my neck?"

Ryan sighed, "I've never done a parent meet and greet.." He saw that Marissa had heard the hesitation in his voice, because when he looked down she was pleading with her eyes large pools of blue. "But I guess for you I can."

"Thank you," she leaned up and kissed him.

Ryan deepened the kiss for a moment then sharply pulled back, "One condition though."

"Anything."

"Either you give you let me heal up, or we tell them that you're abusive." Once again Marissa heart melt as he gave her the side-glance and half smile. She knew right then that she would come to love that look, and if she let herself she would come to love this man, in fact it was already happening quicker than she'd like.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: It might be a while before I get a chance to update again, so here's a good long chapter for you. And second I personally refuse to read spoilers for the show, because I like the element of surprise, but my friend does and she informed me that the plot line I establish at the end of this chapter as been rumored to happen towards the finale, so I'm just warning you that if it happens I swear I didn't mean to spoil anything for anyone, and I didn't mean for this to coincide with the show I mapped this story out two months ago.

Chapter Eight

"Do I really have to do this?" Ryan broke his kiss with Marissa and pleaded to her with his eyes.

"As much as I wish we could get out of it…"

"Well call," he reached into the center console of her car and handed her the phone, "Cancel, tell them we have other plans."

"You're funny," she ran her face down his face. "But if I did that I'd never here the end of it from my mother." She got out of the car and walked around to his side.

Ryan sighed, defeated; "Ok but we're going to be late then." He told her as he got out of the car.

"For what?" Marissa threw her head back, she didn't know they actually had other plans.

"This," he reached into his back pocket and handed her a white envelope.

Marissa took the envelope from his hands and looked at him quizzically. "What's this?" She watched as he shrugged and urged her to open the envelope. Her eyes widen as she pulled two tickets from the envelope, "Over It tickets! Ryan this is…"

"Your favorite band, I know you play the damn CD enough." He gave her a pleased half grin.

"This show has been sold out weeks, how did you get tickets?"

"I slept with the girl at the ticket counter," he grinned as she shot him a not so amused look. "Joey knows a couple of promoters he called in some favors for me."

"I so do not want to go to dinner now." She bit her bottom lip at him, "But we kinda have to."

"Yeah yeah I know, let's just get this over with so you can have fun." He took her hand and gave her a kiss on the cheek as they made their way up the Cohen's driveway.

"Marissa!" Kirsten opened the door and greeted her before she'd even had a chance to knock.

"Hi Kirsten," she leaned in and gave Kirsten a kiss on the cheek. "You've met Ryan right."

"Yes Ryan nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you as well Mrs. Cohen," he reached out and nervously shook her hand.

"Please call me Kirsten, come on inside you two. Jimmy and Sandy are in the living room, and Julie's not here yet."

Marissa took Ryan's hand again and gave him a firm squeeze as if to tell him everything was going to be ok. Ryan took a deep breath and followed a step behind Marissa as they entered into the living room.

"Marissa, hey kiddo." Jimmy Cooper jumped up to hug his daughter, not noticing the man in tow.

"Hey Dad, I want to introduce you to someone," she let go of her dad and Jimmy took a step back, "This is…"

Surprise crossed her face as her dad cut her off, "Ryan Atwood," Jimmy quickly extended his hand out, "The boxer right?" There was an amusing amount of glee in his voice. "You're a middleweight 8

and 0 with…" he paused to think, "Four knockouts?"

"Yes sir." Ryan answered with a half laugh then looked over to a surprised Marissa, who shrugged at him.

"You're the best young fighter in the division right now, they say you could be a contender for the belt before much longer.'

"That's what they say," he humbly answered Jimmy.

"Man I was at the fight you had in Newport a while back, you took a nasty punch to the temple. The guy got disqualified because it was after the bell, gave everyone in the crowd a scare that night."

Marissa gave a small laugh, "That was the night we met," she flashed Ryan a quick smile.

"Yeah it all worked out for the best in my case, didn't lose the fight and well…"

"Ryan!" He was cut off by the yell of Seth who was coming down the stair, "Good to see you again man," Seth grabbed Ryan and shook his hand with both hands. "How have you been good? Yeah me too, well no not exactly, but yeah we gotta talk man this whole thing with Sum…"

"Hi Seth," Marissa cut him off trying not to sound overly annoyed.

"Marissa hi, Mr. Cooper, Ryan… Did I interrupt the meet and greet here? I bet I did… I should go check on the take out make sure my mother's not trying to cook it or anything… I'm going to go to the kitchen now." Seth kitchen trip had both impeccably perfect and absolutely horrid timing, because at that moment Kirsten entered into the living room, followed closely behind by the infamous Julie Cooper.

"Marissa honey, good to see you, this must be Ryan. Hmm I picture you taller," Julie cocked her head to one side and continued to study Ryan, making him incredibly uncomfortable. "And better looking, you know Marissa's first boyfriend was incredibly gorgeous, you just don't measure up."

"Julie," Jimmy stopped her with harshness in his voice.

"What just being honest, I mean there's no since in fooling the boy into believing that he could ever be remotely good enough from my daughter. I mean for god's sake Jimmy he's from Chino for one thing and thinks he could make a living out of punching people, I mean is that really the type of man you want Marissa with?"

"Mother!"

"No it's okay, Marissa." Ryan stopped her, "I mean you're mother's right." He said with a stone cold straight face. "Where I'm from and what I do, it has everything to do with how I feel about you and how I treat you right Mrs. Cooper. I mean because I'm from Chino I couldn't possibly know how to treat Marissa with respect." He emphasized the word respect when he spoke to Julie.

"Now Ryan I'm not saying you're a not a nice boy, but Marissa deserves someone of… how could I put this higher quality."

Ryan nodded his head, then looked to Marissa, "This isn't going to work out, I'm gonna go hang out with Seth just come and get me when you're ready to go." He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek, then extended his hand out to Jimmy, "Mr. Cooper it was very nice to meet you."

"You too Ryan, and please excuse my ex-wife."

Ryan nodded once more then hastily made his exit into the kitchen, and nodded to Seth as he walked in.

"Once again, you're not much with the words are you… so I take in things didn't go so well."

"Mr. Cooper's cool."

"Yeah he is, really nice guys, he really loves Marissa too. And believe it or not so does Julie Cooper, it's just… she's Julie Cooper, she's kinda the spawn of Satan."

"I've known plenty of people like her, she knew me for a whole two seconds before she passed judgement on me. She didn't even bother to get to know me or know how I feel about Marissa. It was all where I'm from and what I do."

"We're not all like that, some of us actually know and like certain people for who they are and how they act. Like I know this guy, who knew me for like two seconds but he, was willing to get into a hue brawl just to keep me from getting my ass kicked. And I'd say he's by far one of the best guys I know."

"Thanks man," Ryan looked at Seth with a new understanding that he was right, they weren't all like that. "So, how do you think it's going in there?" He asked Seth referring to Marissa and her parents in the other room.

"My guess… Julie, Marissa, same room, never such a good combination."

"You chased him from the room mother!"

"It was his decision to leave the room, I never said anything to him about leaving."

"Yeah why would he want to stay, so he could continue to be insulted? My God he didn't even say anything and you attacked him. And you're going to wonder why I didn't tell you I was dating anyone."

"Well honestly Marissa, he's from Chino, you can do so much better. I just wanted him to know that he wasn't your only option."

"Does it even matter to you how I feel about him? Or is it all about where he's from and how much money he has."

"You deserve someone of higher class than him."

"I had guys of higher class, and they were both shit ok. I have finally managed to move past everything that happened, I am finally letting myself get close to someone again and you're going to come in here and in thirty seconds fuck it all up for me!" Marissa yelled at her mother, not caring that Jimmy, Sandy and Kirsten were all standing in the room. From the corner of her eye she could see Kirsten and Sandy slowly moving towards the kitchen.

"Man kid," Sandy looked at Ryan as he walked towards the fridge, "You caused some serious fireworks in there."

Ryan shrugged at him, "I don't know how, I barely said anything."

"Well, Julie Cooper is… Julie Cooper, don't let her get to you too much."

"Sandy, Kirsten, thank you for having us," Marissa told them after she stormed into the kitchen. "But we're going to leave, you guys have a nice dinner, we actually have other plans now." She reached over and took Ryan's hand, "Come on. Let's go."

"Alright, I'll see you later Seth," he called back as Marissa tugged him towards the front door.

Once they made it to the car, Ryan grabbed Marissa's hand as she tried to put the keys into her ignition, "You're really upset, why don't you let me drive."

"I am so sorry for the way she acted, I swear."

"It's not your fault. Your Dad's really nice."

"Yeah he's great… Would you be horribly upset if I didn't want to go to the concert? I just don't really like being around people right now."

"No it's totally up to you, I mean you can take me back to my car and I'll just go home."

"Ok people didn't include you, I was thinking we could just go to the beach or something."

Ryan gave her a half smile, "Sure."

Marissa reached up and caressed his face; "It doesn't matter ok." Her eyes bled sincerity. "All those things she said, I don't care about any of it. I care about you a lot and nothing else matters to me."

"I know you're not like her Marissa, I would be here if you were."

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The radio from Marissa's car blared onto the beach as Ryan stood back watching Marissa run in and out of the water singing along, they could have been at the concert but he knew that she was having just as much fun on the beach dancing along to the CD from her car, and that's all that mattered to him. He couldn't help but smile as she twirled around; hands tangled in her hair and sang along. His heart was filling up quick for her. And though he couldn't say that her mother's words hadn't hurt him, he knew that having money was just a pipe dream with a slim possibility of happening. That most guys boxed for years and never made more than a few thousand a fight, but money didn't matter to him and he knew he could treat Marissa better than anyone else. And even if her mother never accepted him, he wasn't going to let that affect how he felt about her. No one else had ever made him felt like she did and he wasn't going to let go of that.

Marissa charge up the beach to Ryan and threw her arms around him, she gave him and small kiss and then quickly pulled back singing along with the music to him.

"Its not easy. No satisfaction guaranteed I get queasy. They're rolling their eyes but here's what I've got to say." She pulled back and pressed her forehead against his, and instead of singing along she began mouthing the words, her lips brushing his with every words she mouth. "The price of beauty; to find love in a quiet moment of pain, Stay for a lifetime, its gonna take the rest of our days to explain." She let their lips fully meet and lost her eyes in a kiss. There was something about that kiss that made Marissa's head spin, every kiss with Ryan was like nothing she'd ever felt before, but this one was stronger. It took all the willpower she had to break the kiss, and look deeply into his eyes, "Let's go back to my apartment." She took his hand and led him back to the car.

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It was the first time Ryan had actually seen Marissa's room, not that he was paying much attention to the room itself, he was focused on her. He felt nervous like this was his first time, it wasn't and he was sure it wasn't hers either but for some odd reason they were both acting like scared teenagers.

"This is it, where I sleep," Marissa held her hands up as if to put her room on display, then sat down on her bed.

Ryan sat down next to her, and leaned in to kiss her. She was unresponsive at first, not in a cold or unsure way, but a nervous way. He reached up and gently rested his hand on her cheek, he felt her relax and respond to his kiss. Slowly they moved back onto the bed, and Marissa began unbuttoning his shirt, until it was off and on the floor leaving him in his wifebeater. For the moment he was content on staying that way. Ryan felt no need to rush this; he wanted to savor this, as did she. His kissed trailed from her lips all over her face and down to her neck. Marissa ran her fingers through his hair and her other hand smoothed up and down his back, as she felt his kiss move down over the fabric of her shirt until he reached her stomach. She let out a small giggle at the tickles of his kiss around her navel. Ryan looked up and met with her eyes as if he was asking permission, Marissa nodded and raised her arms as Ryan removed her shirt and began kissing his way back up.

Marissa relax more and continued to play with his hair as he kissed up her body, she was so relaxed that she let her eyes slip closed. She felt Ryan reach around and undo her bra clasp, but not remove it, she felt his hand reach for hers and interlock his fingers into hers tightly. With this motion Marissa panicked, her eyes snapped open and she abruptly sat up. "Ryan, I'm sorry I can't do this." Fighting tears that were beginning to well up. She flung her body away from him and reached for her discarded shirt clutching it too her chest in an attempt to cover her up.

Ryan confused sat up and reached for Marissa shoulder only to feel her skin quake at her touch and have her snapped away from him. "What's wrong, I thought you wanted to…"

"I did… I do…. I just… I can't. I'm sorry. I just can't." She broke into a full on sob, and pulled her shirt over her head.

"Hey," he moved onto the edge of the bed next to her, "What's wrong… did I do something to make you cry…"

"No it's not your fault I'm sorry," She sniffled and wiped her eyes.

"Then what is it," His eyes were soft and his voice gentle, "I promise whatever it is I can take, I mean I made it through you mother." He joked.

Marissa gave a soft laugh, "Yeah you did," she agreed and sighed. "Ryan," she turned to face him. "I haven't exactly told you everything about my past, I mean I've left some things out."

He shrugged, "So have I, its no big deal right?"

She sighed again, "I've had another relationship, other than Luke and Alex."

"Ok, you're not still seeing him right… or her…" He watched as Marissa shook her head and began to cry again, this prompted Ryan to reach up and wipe the tears from her eyes.

Marissa swallowed hard and continued, "Him, Oliver. After everything happened with Luke and I got out of the mental institution my parents still wanted me to go to therapy, that's where we met therapy. I guess that really should have been my first clue," she tried to joke through her tears. "Anyway our doctor shared a suite and our weekly appointments were at the same time, so we'd talk before hand. He seemed really sweet; he seemed to understand in a way no one else did, not even Summer. After awhile he asked me out, and I said sure. My mother was thrilled it didn't matter that I'd met him in therapy because here was a boy who was polite and nice and lived in a penthouse. We dated for a few months before… before I realized that he was crazy beyond the aide of therapy. We were dating and he was stalking me as well, then I found out he'd tried to kill himself over another girl before he met me, and I realized that it was just getting way out of hand and he needed help beyond what he was getting. I called him to come over to my mom's house so I could tell him that things weren't working right then and that he needed serious help, and that I would still be his friend and help him through stuff but I couldn't be with him right then," Marissa paused to look at Ryan who was completely focused on her and listening to every word she spoke. She swallowed again and fought back tears. "When I told him everything, he just lost it, he went nuts throwing things and screaming that he didn't need anymore help or medication that all he needed was for me to love him, and that was never going to happen I was never going to love him the way he loved me and he just kept yelling that over and over and I tried to calm him down and he said he would make me love him, and…." Marissa broke down into hysterics; she tried to speak again through her sobs but couldn't manage to catch her breath.

Ryan bit down on the inside of his lip, he already knew how her story was going to end, but for her own sake, he was going to let her finish. He reached up and smoothed her hair down over and over again trying to calm her. When she leaned into him, he put his arms around her.

His arms made her feel safe, she choked back her sobs, "He raped me, and I haven't been with a man since." She blew a breath she'd been holding out and buried her head into Ryan's chest. "I'm sorry," she let out a soft sigh and another tear trickled down her cheek. "I really thought that I was going to be able to go through with it with you I mean I want to it's just…"

"Shhh… It's ok," he reached down and gently pushed her face up so their eyes me. Hers were blood shot, but the pools of blue melted his heart. "My God, how could anyone ever hurt you, he whisper then pressed her back up against him. He wanted to wash her past away and make it to where she never had to feel a moment of pain. He wanted her to feel safe with him. "Come on, let's go to bed," he said pushing the blankets back.

"But Ryan I just…"

He cut her off, "I know, did I say we were going to do anything? No I said let's go to bed," he unbuckled his belt and laid it on the floor, crawling under her covers.

Marissa raised an eyebrow at him, "What are you doing."

"Making sure you're safe, I just want to be with you tonight, like here with you."

"Get out of my bed," she told him as she walked towards her closet, and began to dig around. "Here, she handed him a pair of gray sweat pant, with USC written down one of the legs. "You won't be comfortable in what you have on; those are my dad's so they should fit you. I'll be right back I'm going to go change."

Ryan put the sweat pants on and waited for Marissa to come back. "Come here," he told her as she came back pajama clad. "He rubbed his arms up and down her arms as if he were warming her up, then looked deeply into her eyes, "I won't ever hurt you ok. I want you to know and understand that I'm not like everyone else, I won't ever hurt you." He lean down and kissed her forehead, then took her hand and led her into bed and under the covers.

Marissa found herself in bed snuggled against Ryan, who was just lying there holding her. She sighed and let herself begin to drift asleep, and for the first time in years she truly felt safe. Ryan held her as she slept fighting off his own sleep as for hours he just watched her sleep. When he had heard her voice as he came to in the hospital he thought she sounded like an angel, now with her lying in his arms sleeping after crying herself tired, he knew she was an angel.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

The bedside clock read 8:05 am, which meant that Ryan had been lying awake for almost four hours now. It was a natural instinct that had woken him from sleep as he became aware of his surrounding he remembered what had happened the night before. They had gone to the Cohens, then to the beach, then back to her apartment under the pretense of making love, but things had come to a quick halt and she had told him a secret that broke his heart. Now hours later Ryan laid awake and merely watched her sleep. She was still in the exact position she'd fallen asleep in, her arms clinging around him, her head nuzzled against his chest. For hours all he'd been doing was watching her sleep, listening to her breathing and wondering how on Earth could anyone ever want to hurt someone so breath takingly beautiful.

Ryan smiled to himself as he felt Marissa finally begin to stir. Marissa raised her head a bit and reached over to the alarm clock, turning it in towards her.

"It's too early, I'm going back to sleep," she flopped her head back onto his chest as if she was used to waking up with him. But it was then that she paused and looked up, realizing that it wasn't all a dream that he actually was in bed with her. "Oh no," she reached up to her hair. "Don't look at me I have bed head."

"Too late," he gave a soft chuckle after which he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead.

Marissa buried her head back into Ryan's chest, "Thank you," she whispered so softly he could barely make it out.

"For what?"

The question made Marissa lift her head to study his face. That simple question sent her mind spinning. How could he not realize what he'd done for her the night before? How could he not see what a huge step she'd just taken, only because he was there to hold her hand? "What you did for me last night. I never thought I'd feel safe again, I never thought…," she paused and sighed. Her eyes were bluer than usual as she looked up to him trying to find the words to tell him what she was feeling; "I can't verbalize it, Ryan. It was just really special, ok?"

Ryan reached up and ran his hand down her face resting it on her cheek he traced the outline of her lips with his thumb, "Marissa I…" He caught his words in his throat before they could come out. He didn't know where they had come from, but they weren't what he had meant to start. "I didn't do anything special, I just did what was right." He immediately shut his eyes after he finished. He knew that didn't sound right, but he had caught himself off guard.

"You're amazing," she gave him a soft smile. "I just want to stay like this all day." She snuggled herself back against him.

"Too bad we can't." He gave her a soft squeeze.

"Why not, it's Saturday you don't have to work?"

"No, but I do have to be at the gym for noon."

"You can't be late? Or better yet not show up?" She playfully poked her lip out at him.

"I have a big fight in three weeks, once in Reno which my girlfriend will be attending."

"You bet and if the guy in the ring doesn't rough you up enough I'll finish it off for him," Marissa sat up and made fists at Ryan.

"You're cute when you try to be a boxer, you know that." Sitting up her snaked an arm around her and pulled her into a deep kiss. "You know I've usually already ran a few miles by this time in the morning."

"Good God Ryan it's like eight thirty, what time do you run?"

"I get up at four thirty, go for my run, I've already been up that long."

"You been up since four thirty in the morning?" There was a hint of shock in her voice.

"Yep."

"And you didn't wake me?"

He shook his head at her, "I just kinda watched you sleep, tried to figure out what you might be dreaming about. Admired how beautiful you are," he reached up and brushed a stray hair behind her ear.

"That's sweet," she playfully cocked her head back. "A little creepy but still sweet." She leaned in and kissed him again. "I could get used to this, having you here with me in the mornings, you're not grumpy like Summer."

"Well that might have something to do with the fact that I've been up for a while, because I promise you at four am I am not this pleasant."

"Like anyone's pleasant at four am." She joked back with him, as they fell back onto the bed.

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Summer jumped from the kitchen when she heard movement coming down the stairs, "Coop, thank God you're awake. I almost came and woke you up like an hour ago, I've been dying to hear how things when with you're mom and Chino last night."

"It could have been better," Ryan answered Summer's question as he made his way down the last few steps.

A bright shade of red crossed Summer's face, "Oh Chino…," she tried to mask the utter shock in her face. "What did you do with Coop?"

For a moment he thought about making a joke about stuffing her in the closet or saying she was still tied to the bed, but he thought better and simply answered her question, "She's in the bathroom, she'll be down in a minute."

"Oh, well… ahh… have a good day," she answered him and quickly returned back to the kitchen.

"Marissa, I'm leaving." Ryan called back upstairs, as he inched his way to the front door.

Marissa bounded down the stair and almost knocked him over as she jumped into his arms, plastering his face with kisses. "If you must, but you'll call right?"

He nodded in response, "As soon as I get done, maybe you could come over tonight?"

Summer pressed her ear against the kitchen wall trying to eavesdrop, and picked up bits and piece of the conversation. In her opinion Chino needed to leave, Coop had some serious explaining to do. As soon as she heard the front door close she flew from the kitchen, and grabbed Marissa. "He stayed the night? Oh my God Coop, Chino spent the night!"

Marissa shrugged and gave her a sly grin, "Yea so?"

"Umm hello this is huge, I mean hello did I mention he stayed the night?" She watched as Marissa shrugged again. "Ok why are you not talking, I want details, I mean like serious serious details, Coop did I mention this is huge?"

"Nothing happened, he just stayed the night."

"Nothing! The man braves Julie Cooper and then stays the night and you're going to tell me nothing happened? You're not getting off that easy, I want the whole story from beginning to now."

"Well we went to dinner with at the Cohen's, and it was weird at first because my dad the sports fanatic, he seemed to already know everything about Ryan. So things were going good, then my mother showed up and totally berated him, she and I got into a fight, and we left before dinner even started."

Summer waved her hand in a circular motion, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, so what get to the sex, I mean that's what's so huge."

"There was no sex Summer, like I said nothing happened." She watched as Summer cocked her head back in a motion that implied she didn't believe her. "Ok, so it's not exactly like nothing happened. We left the Cohen's and went to the beach and… We were kissing on the beach and I wanted to, so we came back here, and… We were about too, but… I freaked out and started crying. Which made him freak out, and so I told him about Oliver, I told him everything. And honestly I kinda expected him to just get up and leave, but he stayed. We just spent the night together… sleeping… I stayed pressed to him all night, and he held me, and…" Marissa paused at what she thought was a sniffle. "Are you crying?"

"No," Summer brushed away a tear from her eyes. "Coop that is so sweet, I thought guys like that only existed in movie and on The Valley… After you stopped him he really just held you like that?"

Marissa shook her head, "Summer," her voice dropped to just above a whisper, "I'm falling in love with him."

"Aww Coop," Summer reached out and gave her best friend a hug. "I know I'm kinda mean to Chino sometimes…" Marissa pulled back and gave Summer a look. "Ok I'm mean to him all the time, but I really really happy for you. I mean you've been through so much and I've never seen you so happy, if anyone deserves it, its you."

"Thanks Sum." Marissa smiled still a bit shocked at her own confession.

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"Excuse me, I'm looking for Ryan Atwood."

Joey looked over the man who stood in front of him, expensive suit, nice hair cut, he wondered if this might be the father of Ryan's girlfriend, but at the same time he didn't think someone like that would come the gym. "You a cop?"

"No Sandy Cohen," Sandy held his hand out to the man. "I'm a family friend of Marissa Cooper, I'd like to talk to Ryan if that's possible."

Joey gave Sandy a disappointing glare, and called out to the guys in the boxing ring, "Alright boys that's enough for now."

Ryan and his sparing partner stopped, "What's wrong Joey, do I need to fix something?"

"No kid, take off your gear you got someone here to talk to you."

Ryan looked over to Joey and saw Sandy standing next to him, "I'll be out in a sec." Ryan quickly removed his headgear and gloves. As he made his way out of the ring he began unwrapping his hands, and addressed Sandy, "Mr. Cohen… I'm a bit surprised to see you here. Is everything alright, I mean is something wrong with Marissa? Or Seth?"

"No, no. Actually neither one of them knows I'm here, and I'd like to keep it that way. Is there some place we could talk?"

"Sure," Ryan led Sandy out behind the gym, the same place he'd taken Marissa the day of their first kiss. Only this time he stopped at the benches, "Is this ok?"

"It's just fine," Sandy laid the file in his hand on the table and looked at Ryan.

"Is that why you're here?" Ryan pointed to the file.

"I've known Marissa since… well practically since the day she was born, and Jimmy Cooper's probably one of the best friends I've ever had."

"Ok, so what's that got to do with me?" Ryan was beginning to get defensive with Sandy

"I ran a background on you. It's nothing anyone asked me to do, it's just Marissa hasn't always had the best choices in boyfriends and I just wanted to…"

"Make sure she was safe? So what did you find Mr. Cohen?"

"Please call me Sandy."

"Ok Sandy, what did you find out about me. That on paper I don't look so good."

"Well you've got quite a wrap sheet here, a year and a half in juvie for stealing a car and fighting, mother's whereabouts unknown, father in jail, only brother in jail…"

"You know the records you have are juvenile records, they were sealed when I turned eighteen, how did you get them."

"I'm a lawyer Ryan, spend eighteen years working as a public defender, trust me I know people at the DAs office. Anyway more than anything I found that you and I we're not so different."

"Really?" Ryan cocked his head back; he had a conversation like this once before, only that one had been with Joey. "I've heard this all before, so if you're going to judge me on where I'm from and stupid things I did as a kid well then, I guess I was wrong because I was under the impression that you and your wife were nothing like Julie Cooper."

"Hey hey alright now, don't go comparing me to Julie Cooper. That's just low. You and me Ryan, we're not so different. I was raised in the Bronx, my dad took off, and my mother was constantly working. The streets raised me too, and they were tough streets just like yours. I got out and made something of myself. That's exactly what you're trying to do now, make something of yourself." Sandy gave Ryan a slight smile.

"Look Sandy I know I may not look that great on paper, but just give me chance and I promise I won't let her down."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Ok so I was going to split this into two chapters but I'm too lazy too upload two files right now, so it was written as one chapter so I'll just leave it that way. Also this story is going to take a backseat for a couple of weeks because I got a burst of inspiration and I'm going to finish up Curve of the Earth. So enjoy this and once COTE is finished I'll come back to this one. It's all mapped out and actually there's only Eight chapters of this story left.

Chapter Ten

"…Ok well we're getting ready to leave right now. Summer and I are riding with Seth, and the Cohen's and my parents are going to follow behind us…" Marissa informed Ryan off her plans via the telephone. He had been in Reno for five days preparing for his fight, and she'd missed him more than she had thought she would. A part of her had wanted to get on a plane to Reno that morning so she could just see him and be with him.

"Your parents? Like you mean the Cohen's and your dad right?" Ryan lay in his hotel and stared at the ceiling trying to picture Marissa's face as he talked to her.

"And my mom."

Ryan groaned, "Haven't we already learned that your mother and I in the same room isn't exactly a good combination?"

"Well, she heard us talking about going to see you fight and kinda invited herself along, what was I suppose to do I mean she is my mom."

"Yeah, yeah I know, I just kinda wanted you to myself, I miss you."

Marissa smiled to herself as she felt her stomach jump, "I miss you too, and I promise you will have me all to yourself for as long as you want, I won't let my mother get in the way of that."

"Hey Coop," she called from upstairs. "Ask Chino what I should wear."

"Summer wants to know what she should wear."

"Clothes." He sarcastically responded.

"Aren't you the funny man… I'd better go help her get ready or we won't make it to Reno anytime before next week. But I'll see you before your fight?"

"Actually probably not, it's kinda hectic before a fight."

"Ok, but I'll be the first person you kiss after you win right?"

"If I win."

"You'll win, I'm going to be there so how could you not. You gotta win for me."

He gave a short laugh, "Yeah I'll win for you."

"Ok well I'm gonna go, I'll see you in a few hours."

"Ok see you then."

Marissa reluctantly closed her phone and turned around to see Summer standing over her shoulder.

"You two make me sick you know that?" Summer joked to her friend. "Ok so I found this," she motioned her hands up and down her body for Marissa to see what she was wearing.

"Looks fine," Marissa told Summer right as their doorbell rang. "Oh that must be Seth."

"Oh God I can't believe your making us ride with him." Summer forced a smile as Marissa opened the door.

"Summer," Seth tried to greet her as he walked in the door only to be taken aback by how amazing she looked. His eyes traveled from her face down to the fitted low cut pink halter top, they continued down to her jeans and matching pink heels.

"Speak much Cohen?"

"Yeah," he shook himself out of his Summer induced trance. "Umm you guys ready to go, my parents are waiting in their car outside."

Marissa grabbed her purse, "More than ready," she skipped out the door.

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"This casino is so tacky," Julie Cooper commented as they all took their seats in the second row back from the ring. "And I mean we're not even ringside, you'd think the boxer could get us better seats."

"Mother, Ryan's not the main event, I'm sure other boxers have family here too."

"My point exactly we're here and he's not even the main event he's what the first fight isn't that really low in boxing standards."

"Julie, he's the second under card match on a title fight, that's pretty damn good, and these seats are great." Jimmy rebuked her comments.

"Ok Mr. Coop but this whole place stinks of stale beer."

"Summer!" Marissa reprimanded her and shot her a look.

"Sorry," Summer gave an apologetic smile as she realized she'd backed up Julie to some extent.

"Well I think it's great I love the Reno," Seth commented.

"Son you think you love the Reno, we should do The Vegas." Sandy threw his hand against his son's back.

"Yeah well I think it's nice, I've never been to a boxing match before," Kirsten added in just for good measure.

Marissa shifted in her seat. She was beginning to think she should have just made the trip alone. All she really wanted to do was see Ryan and not have to worry about everyone else.

"Oh he's cute," Summer commented pointing to one of the guys setting up in a fighter's corner. "You think Ryan could introduce me?" Marissa looked to Summer and rolled her eyes.

"Excuse me," A man in a dark suit and a hotel security badge stood at the end of their row and spoke. "Which one of you is Marissa Cooper?"

"That's me," she coyly raised her hand.

"Would you mind coming with me Miss."

"Excuse me sir, is my daughter in some kind of trouble," Julie jumped up directly in the man's face.

"No ma'am and could you please have a seat. Mr. Atwood has requested your presence in his locker room, so if you'd like follow me."

Marissa had to contain herself from jumping out of her seat and skipping as she followed the large man in front of her. He led her past other security guards and handed her a yellow badge, "This will get you through any of the other security, he's in the third locker room on the left, but you might want to knock first anyway."

She smiled and nodded at the man. Slowly she made her way down the hall, her heart pounded harder with each step as she got closer to the door. By the time she got there her mouth had gone dry and she was practically shaking with anticipation. She gave three soft knocks on the door, waited a brief moment until she heard his voice bellow come in. She first just opened the door enough to poke her head in, "Hey," she said her voice almost childlike.

"Hey!" Ryan bounded from the bench, and pulled her into the room, kissing her before the door even had a chance to close. "I missed you."

She leaned in and kissed him again, "I missed you too, I thought I wasn't going to get to see you before the fight?"

"Couldn't wait," he returned to kissing her.

Marissa gave a soft moan as he kissed her, and wrapped her arms around him; he was slick with sweat already. He was a warrior getting ready to go to war, and she could feel that vibe in the room. "How much longer til you fight?"

"First fights already starting, so not long. They'll be in her in a minute to tape up my hands and glove me, give me instructions I've heard a million times. Then I go out there and fight."

"Ok but could you make it quick, because I want you to myself," she joked with him.

"I'll see what I can do," he smiled and kissed her again. "How was the drive here?"

"Long, mostly listened to Summer and Seth fight over the radio and watched Seth ogle Summer."

"He really likes her you know."

"Yeah he kinda makes in obvious, but he won't make a move."

"Give him time, he will, he's man."

"Ryan, he's had ten years."

"So he's a late bloomer."

"So you think we'll double date with Seth and Summer?"

"I don't double date." Ryan laughed and moved in kissing her again. "I hate to do this but…"

"I gotta go huh?"

"Yeah unfortunately, I gotta get ready."

"Fine, just make it quick." She laughed and kissed him deeply one more time before exiting the locker room, and returning to her friends and family.

"Oh man kiddo, you just missed a hell of a fight, three knock downs in the first two rounds," Jimmy Cooper sounded like a kid on Christmas day.

Summer leaned over into Marissa's ear, "How's Ryan?"

"Good," she nodded her head several times behind her answer.

"Ok, so my next question, how are you?" Her voice full of serious concern.

"I don't know," Marissa took a hard swallow, "Ask me after he's fought." Just as Marissa finished her sentence the ring announcer stepped into the ring. "Our next match in scheduled for ten rounds of middleweight action. Are you ready?" The crowd screamed, and Marissa and company hit their feet yelling and clapping. "Fighting out of the blue corner, wearing silver trunks with black trim and weighing in at 160 pounds, from Chino, California Ryan Atwood."

They continued to yell even louder, Marissa didn't take her eyes off of Ryan from the time he got in her line of sight. She didn't even heard the announcer call the other fighter into the ring, and Summer had to pulled at her pants leg to get her to sit down.

"Ok boys, I gave you the rules in the locker room, let's have a clean fight, keep in above the belt, now touch gloves, wait for the bell and come out fighting." The announcer finished, and Marissa took another hard swallow as her body tensed up waiting for the match to start.

The bell rang and both men came out fast and hard. First both jabbing to the face. Ryan dodged a haymaker to the body and countered with a straight right, hard enough to cause swelling in the fighter's left eye. Ryan used his skill to hone in on the swelling sending hard jabs to the eyes until the bell rang.

Sandy and Jimmy were on their feet, screaming and pulling their fists. Marissa gave a sigh of relief as the first four rounds went quickly with Ryan controlling most of the fight. But in the fifth round she took a real scare. Early in the round, Ryan took a sharp hook to the liver, which threw him off guard just enough to allow the other fighter to land a huge upper cut, followed by a left hook that immediately cause his eye to start bleeding. The blood distracted Ryan, and allowed the man to rough him up and by the end of the fifth round the cut on his left eye had gotten larger and there was swelling in his right cheek.

Summer reached over and took Marissa's hand, "It's half way over."

"I know," Marissa nodded.

Julie Cooper smelled her daughter fear and pounced, "Is this really what you want to be with, a man you have to worry about every time he goes to work. Do you really want to sit here with your stomach in knots and…"

"Julie," Kirsten interjected. "Let it go."

The bell rang starting the sixth round, and though he was tired and hurting Ryan stood up. The world seemed to move in slow motion as he heard Joey call to him, "Put this motherfucker out Ry." He took a quick glance down to Marissa, and then the world started to move again. Ryan felt a burst of energy and didn't give his opponent a chance to do anymore damage. A succession of quick jabs to face followed by a hard upper cut to the chest and a right haymaker to the head that sent the man back. Ryan took advantage of this and kept the pressure on, jab jab hook, upper cut, body, head, body, body. Finally with the man backed into the ropes Ryan threw a straight right, and a hard uppercut to the chin, sending him to the canvas. Ryan stepped back and waited for the ten count, he felt the blood trickle down his eye as he waited. The man tried to stand but was caught by the ref who immediately waved the fight over. Joey jumped into the ring and raised Ryan's arm before pulling him into the corner to stop the bleed in his eye with adrenaline.

After the final announcement was made, Marissa breathed a bit easier, but it was Summer who pointed out her stress. "Coop, your hands are blue, what were you doing fighting yourself?"

Marissa look down at her hands, she had been holding her own hands so tightly the circulation had been cut off. She released her own hands and took a deep breath, wondering if maybe her mother had a point was this really the kind of man she wanted to be with?

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"Man that was awesome," Seth told Ryan as they sat down for dinner after his fight. "You were like…" Seth made mock punches into the air. "And he was like…" Seth threw his hands in front of his face in cowardice. "It was great."

"Thanks man," Ryan gave a pain smile, his face was swollen quite badly and his eyes butterflied together.

Marissa laid her head onto Ryan shoulder, "You were amazing," she told him, just above a whisper.

"Chino, I must admit you kicked serious ass out there…. Oh who's that?" Summer pointed to another boxer, who was the third man, she asked Ryan about since his fight ended. Seth turned his head and rolled his eyes.

"Jimmy Haviland, featherweight next in line for a title shot."

"Which means money, and he's cute… Introduce me?" She'd been asking Ryan this question all night and every time he'd declined.

"Married, two kids." He said to Summer, then leaned down to Marissa. "Hey," he whispered, and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

Summer saw something in Marissa's eyes when Ryan kissed her, she couldn't tell exactly what the emotion was but she knew it wasn't good. "Coop, you want to go to the bathroom with me, please?"

Marissa shrugged and followed Summer, as soon as they were out of earshot Seth practically jumped across the table at Ryan. "Dude I am totally bombing with Summer, here. I mean she keeps asking you to introduce her to other guys."

"Seth, in order to be bombing you kinda have to be talking to her. You haven't said three words to her."

"See that's the part I'm not so good at the whole speaking to her thing, yeah it's not such a good idea. I mean when I picked her and Marissa up I tried to speak, and nope nothing, got all choked up."

"Relax and be yourself, then if you bomb, at least you tried." Ryan gave him the only advice he could think to give. He was more worried about Marissa, she too had barely said three words since his fight and something was off, he just couldn't fight out what.

The girls returned and they made their way through a meal, talking about the fight and their reactions to the fight, and the drive to Reno, and the possibility of going to Vegas. At one point during their meal another fighter had approached their table and congratulated Ryan on his fight, stating he'd heard rumors of a match up with Ryan and one of the top contenders. Ryan smiled at the thought but responded humbly by simply saying, "We'll see."

"Ok Coop are you ready to go yet? Cause I heard my bed in Newport calling my name. I mean no offense Chino, but there is no way I'm staying in this tacky hotel."

Ryan shrugged at Summer; "Hey it's free. I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow when I get back." H e gave Marissa's hand a squeeze.

"You're not coming back with us?" Marissa turned in towards him; she was under the impression he'd be riding back with them.

"No I gotta stay here so I can get paid for my fight, and stuff."

"Oh," Marissa turned to Seth and Summer, "Well you guys go ahead and go then, I'm gonna stay here with Ryan tonight, that is if you don't mind."

"Of course not," he smiled first to Marissa, then to Seth.

Summer shot Marissa a look of 'you can't do this to me' proportions. "Are you sure Coop, I mean the carpet here is so cheap."

"Summer, I can handle cheap carpet, I wanna be with Ryan tonight, he looks like he needs to be taken care of."

"Whatever, let's go then Cohen, the faster we go the faster I'm home."

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"Do you have something I could wear?" Marissa asked Ryan as they settled into his hotel room. "I didn't think to bring any clothes."

"Yeah sure," he moved slowly across the room, to wear his bags were, and wince in pain as tried to squat down to them.

"I'll get," Marissa bounded to him, as she heard his pain. "You just go lay down."

"No I got it," he waved her away and dug in his bags pulling out a pair of drawstring pants, and a tee shirt for Marissa, and a pair of pajama pants for himself. "Here," he handed her the clothes and politely turned his back.

Marissa started to change but was distracted as she noticed Ryan beginning to undress. Once he removed his tee shirt and pant, left only in his boxers, she noticed the bruises on his side. She wanted to cry she knew that he was in pain, and she didn't like the feeling of having to watch him in pain. Ryan turned around, then turned back around.

"Sorry, I figured you'd be done changing."

"It's ok," she told him, her eyes still fixated on his naked chest. It was then that it occurred to her that tonight had been the first time she'd seen Ryan shirtless, and she must say she'd been impressed with his body. Marissa smiled to herself at the thought, then pulled her legs off the bed to change. "You know, you don't have to turn around, I mean it's ok if you see me change Ryan."

Ryan slowly turned around, "I. I guess… I was…"

"Being polite, I get it." She smiled and pulled her shirt off, and pulled his over her body. "It's ok though, I mean I'm comfortable with you seeing my body Ryan." She finished dressing for bed, and Ryan watched as under his shirt she removed her bra and threw it to the floor.

A silence feel between them and Marissa sat on the bed and curled her knees to her chest as Ryan dug in his bag. Something was off about her, he had felt it at dinner and it was still in the air. "Are you ok?" He finally got the nerve to ask her, slightly worried about her response.

"Yeah I'm fine," she answered, as she brushed the hair from her face and stared at her toes.

"You're lying to me," Ryan told her, as he took a seat on the bed next to her. He wanted to take her hand, to hold her, to do something to fix whatever was wrong. The problem was he didn't know what was wrong.

"It's nothing really, I mean I'll get over it." She was unconvincing.

"Marissa," he reached out and touched her face, feeling her skin quiver under his touch. "What it?"

"It's stupid it's nothing, let's just go to bed and not worry about it."

"No, I want to know what's wrong, you can tell me."

Marissa swallowed thickly, and cleared her throat. "It's just… I don't know seeing you fight it was…" She paused and sighed.

"You didn't like it." He answered for her.

She began talking at a mile a minute, "Well I mean I did, and it was great seeing you win and I can tell it really is your passion, but I mean no girl wants to see the man she loves get the hell beat of out of him."

Ryan froze, his eyes grew wide, and he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Marissa realized as soon as she finished what she had said and she as well froze. That wasn't supposed to happen. "Ryan I…"

He put his hand up to silence her and stood from the bed. This motion sent Marissa in a panic, it was too soon, she knew that, and now she felt not only stupid but also vulnerable. Ryan took a few paces across the room, then stopped to look at her. "What did you say?" He asked her his voice hoarse.

"Ryan I didn't mean, I mean I meant… but I didn't mean…"

He put his hand up again, "What did you say?" He asked again his voice more defined this time.

Marissa bit her lip and looked up to him, her eyes bleed with sincerity, "I said the man I love," she whispered, "I love you." She swallowed and looked back down at her feet.

Ryan choked back, unsure of what to do; he sighed and ran his hands through his hair, to stop them from shaking. It over took him, in a passionate and intense gesture; he crouched down by the bed and reached out to touch her face. He kissed her both hard and gentle at the same time, he kissed her deeply with passion.

Marissa took his face in between her hands as he kissed her, he couldn't say the words back, but she could feel them. She could feel him trying to say everything he felt with the kiss. She leaned back urging him onto the bed without breaking their kiss. He climbed onto of her, balancing his weight on his hands, the position put him in pain, but he was too overwhelmed to feel it.

"Ryan…" Marissa breathlessly broke away from him, she looked into his eyes and saw them clouded over with the love and passion he couldn't verbally express. She ran her hands through his hair and down his face. She stopped and traced his lips with her fingers, "Make love to me."

Ryan moved in and kissed her again, his kisses butterflies all over her face, her eyes, her chin. Marissa ran her hands up and down his back, lightly tracing the muscles with her fingers. She was ready for this; she was ready to be with him, everything in her told her it was right. Ryan kissed down to her neck but as he reached her collarbone her abruptly stopped, pausing he caught his breath.

"What's wrong?" Marissa asked, worried about his pain.

Ryan caught his breath, then looked up at her apologetically; "We can't… I don't have…" He paused slightly embarrassed, "I guess you could say I'm unprepared." He tried to joke.

Marissa caressed his back and laughed to herself, "Just my luck."

"I didn't expect too, I mean…"

"It's ok," she smiled and gave half a laugh. "I didn't really expect anything either."

Ryan rolled off of her and onto his back unable to withstand the pressure on his sore body any longer. Marissa moved into the crook of his arm, and pushed the covers down, "Is it going to hurt you, if I sleep like this?"

He pulled her onto his chest; "I can handle the pain."

Marissa smiled and lift herself off of him, and began undressing, leaving herself in only her thong panties. She noticed Ryan fixated on her, but in a passionate and confused way, "I probably should have asked you first, but can we at least be skin to skin tonight. I just want to make sure you're real."

"I'm real," he told her, and kicked off his pants, leaving himself in only his boxers, and pulled Marissa down to him the pulled the covers over them.

"I love you," she whispered and she carefully clung to him.

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"Cohen are we there yet?" Summer asked changing the radio station for the fifth time in ten minutes.

"No, and could you leave the radio alone long enough for one song to play? I mean the radio sucks enough without you making me listen to ten sucky songs in five minutes." Seth said annoyed with her. She had barely spoken to him and when she did it was only to talk about all the boxers she'd tried to get Ryan to introduce her to.

"So the married boxer we saw at dinner, I saw him checking me out, you think he thought I was cute?"

"He was married, and could you shut up about those boxers for five minutes, please." Seth 's voice was almost at a yell.

"Geez Cohen what crawled up your short, have one too many gas station expressos tonight?"

"No I'm just sick of you talking about guys who Ryan wouldn't introduce you to, and even if he did they would only have one interest in you."

"Oh is that right, the only reason any guys would be interested in me would be for sex right?" She yelled annoyed at him.

"No it's just they don't know you."

"And you do?" Her voice bled harsh sarcasm. Seth pulled the car to the side of the road and slammed it into park, "Cohen what are you doing?"

"When Marissa was in rehab everyday that she was sober you sent her a yellow rose for friendship to let her know that you'd always be there. Junior year of high school Zach Stevens cheated on you two weeks before prom and you were so heartbroken that you'd get to school ten minutes early so you could cry before he got there, because you pretended not to know about it until after prom was over. And in sixth grade you were so nervous you could barely speak when you had to read your poem out loud in front of the class because you cared about what the other kids thought."

"What poem?"

"I wish I were a mermaid and were friend with all the fish…"

"Wait, wait, how do you remember all that stuff," Summer was confused about what was happening, and trying to fight a smile.

"I've been in love with you since I was ten years old, and without trying everything you've ver done anywhere near me has been burned into my memory." Seth swallowed back both proud of his confession and embarrassed at the same time.

Summer couldn't explain where it came from, or why Seth Cohen, was no longer the 'Ew Seth Cohen,' she'd always seen. But something changed at that moment in the car. Summer reached forward and grabbed his face and kissed him, Seth out of shock couldn't respond. It was everything he'd ever wanted, and he was too shocked to take advantage of it.

"No one has ever said anything so sweet, and yet very creepy Cohen, to me. I never thought any guy could ever pay that much attention." She leaned forward and kissed him again. This time Seth responded, his heart was beating out of his chest. There on the side of the interstate, parked in his mom's Range Rover, he was kissing the girl of his dreams. Summer Roberts had kissed him, twice. The world felt new, not only to him, but also to Summer. She had just realized that everything she'd ever search for in a man was right in front of her, and had she not been so blind and judgmental she might have seen in sooner.

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The bedside clock read 2:30am, Ryan was exhaust but hadn't been able to sleep, He and Marissa had laid in bed and talked for hours, until finally her words turned to mumbles and feel asleep in his arms for a second time. He knew he could get used to having her with him, in his arms at night, sex or no sex. It wasn't important to him, she was important to him and just being with her made him feel more alive than anything. No one had ever told him they loved him before, the words had never been said. When she said them his heart wanted to exploded, and still he couldn't say them back. He couldn't understand why he couldn't say them back; he'd wanted to. He almost said them three weeks earlier after their first night together, but he couldn't. So he tried to tell her tonight in another way and he was pretty sure she'd gotten the message. But just in case… He looked down to her sleeping figure, her legs intertwined with his, to where you couldn't tell where one of the ended and the other began, he liked it that way. Ryan reached up and ran his fingers through her hair careful not to wake him.

"I love you too," he whispered, she might not have been able to hear him, but it was his way of making sure she knew he felt that same way about her.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Ok I know I said this one was going on the backburner, but I just keep coming back to it. I'm just not going to be able to finish Curve of the Earth until this story is complete, but at the rate I'm writing this one, that won't be too much longer. Seven more chapters to go

Chapter 11

"Hey Sum," Marissa greeted her as she entered into their apartment, and saw Summer sitting by herself on the sofa in almost a catatonic state.

"Hey Coop," Summer responded in an emotionless tone. "How was last night?"

Marissa joined Summer on the sofa, and bit her lip as she spoke; "Well I told Ryan I loved him." She waited for a reaction.

"Oh that's nice," Summer remarked her voice still in the same tone.

Marissa raised an eyebrow confused, this was not Summer. Summer would be jumping up and down hands waving, with some wild response. Something was up; Marissa knew this and decided to test her. "And then we had sex, wild sex, all over the hotel room."

"Good for you." She continued to stare at the television.

"Summer did you just hear a word I said?"

"Umm hmm," she continued to stare blankly for a moment, then dropped the bombshell on her best friend. "I kissed Cohen." Her tone unchanging.

"What?" Marissa almost fell off the sofa. "You kissed Seth?"

"Twice."

"TWICE?" A Cheshire cat grin cross Marissa's face. "What kind of kiss?"

"I don't know a kiss." Summer shrugged.

"Kisses, you said you kissed him twice."

"Yeah I know don't remind me."

"So what kind of kiss, was there tongue?"

"Ew no…" She paused and looked away from Marissa, "Ok maybe a little." She listened as Marissa cleared her throat. "Ok fine maybe a lot… I don't know what happened Coop. We were talking and he got mad and put the car in park on the side of the road and started saying all these sweet things and… and… I kissed him, but he didn't kiss me back, so I tried again and he kissed back and… Coop I swear to God it was the best kiss of my life."

Marissa grinned and cocked her head back, "I told you Seth Cohen wasn't such a bad guy."

"Ok but he's still a dork, just a really sweet, cute dork." Summer laughed to herself.

"You gonna call him?"

Summer shrugged, "I told know, I mean I don't know what last time night meant." She paused and studied Marissa's face for a moment. "So you and Chino didn't really have sex in the tacky hotel room did you?"

Marissa shrugged, "Guess you'll never know, you should have been paying attention."

"No you didn't you didn't have the sex walk when you came in the door."

"The sex walk?" Marissa gave a snorted laugh.

"Yeah I mean come on Coop, you had sex with Luke once before… well you know… and it's been nearly four years since that… You'd be walking funny."

Marissa threw her head back in laughter, "Yeah I guess you're right, but I did mean it when I told you that I told him I loved him."

"And he said it back?"

"Not exactly but it's there I could feel it between us last night."

"Ryan loves you, even if he didn't say it, he does. He does this thing, where he looks at you when you're not looking, and sometimes I'll see him doing it, and I can see it in his eyes."

"Summer, I think that's the first time you've ever called him Ryan."

"Yeah well don't get used to it." She joked back to her best friend.

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"Come on, come on be home… answer your phone," Seth urgently called into the receiver of his phone, as it rang on the other line.

"Hello," a groggy Ryan answered the line.

"Dude! You will not believe what happened."

"Seth?" Ryan rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked at his bedside clock. It hadn't been that long since Marissa had dropped him off, but exhaustion had caught up with him and Ryan had gone straight to bed.

"Yeah, ok man you will not believe what happened on the way home last night."

"Seth it's ten thirty at night and some of us have jobs, this couldn't wait until the morning?"

"Summer kissed me. And I mean she kissed me, twice!"

"Good for you man, can I go back to sleep?"

"Sleep?" Seth was talking like a little kid on a sugar high. "How could you even think about sleep? Did I mention Summer kissed me… TWICE!"

"Yeah I heard you the first time and there's no need to yell my hearing's fine."

"Ok good… So what do I do now?"

Ryan laughed to himself, he couldn't explain why but he liked Seth, he was… Well Seth. "I don't know have you thought about calling her?"

"I can't call her, I mean what if it was just a fluke, a spur of the moment thing, I meant what if now that she's had time to think she thinks she's made a huge mistake and I'm still just some loser?"

"Well Seth you'll never know unless you call her."

"Call her huh? I don't know… But I'll let you get back to sleep… I'm gonna think about this whole calling her thing."

"Seth if you decide to call her you might want to wait until the morning, some people do sleep." Ryan laughed and hung up the phone, the problem now was that Seth had woken him and he was no longer tired. He stared up at his ceiling and thought about what had happened in the hotel room the night before. Seth's words came back to him, what if the things Marissa had said had only been spur of the moment things. Everything between them was happening so fast. Ryan sighed and looked to his phone, he thought about calling her, he knew that even if she'd been sleeping she'd wake up and talk to him. However, he didn't really have anything to say. He picked up the phone and dialed the number anyway.

"Hello," she picked up on the second ring.

Her voice sounded sleepy, and Ryan not knowing what to do or say hung up the phone. He'd never panicked before, and he knew that's what he had just done, panicked. Less than a minute later, his phone rang, he picked up on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Did you just call me and hang up?" Marissa asked trying to mask the sleep in her voice.

"Yeah, I did… sorry."

"No it's ok… is something wrong?"

"No… I just… I just wanted to hear your voice."

Marissa smiled into the phone, "That's sweet, but it works a lot better if you say something."

"Yeah I know… I'm sorry."

"Do you want to come over? I mean if you're not too tired?"

"I'd like that, but I'd better not. I've got this meeting with Joey in the morning, we do this thing where we review the fight and stuff."

Marissa twisted her face slightly upset, they hadn't talked about what had happened the night before and she kinda wanted to, "Ok… well will I see you tomorrow?"

"Marissa even if I wanted too I couldn't go a day without seeing you anymore."

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Ryan rushed into the gym, he knew he was late and he knew Joey wouldn't be happy. It had gotten to be habit, him being late for training sessions. He still made up the time and trained his full amount, but his tardiness was starting to tired Joey.

"Outside kid now!" Were the first words Joey spoke to him.

Ryan obliged without an argument, it was times like this he felt like Joey was less his trainer and more like his dad. He was the closest thing to one Ryan ever had. "Look Joey, I know I'm late but I was…"

"With Marissa?"

Ryan looked to the ground, "Yeah."

"I gotta give you credit kid, you don't try to make up any excuses. It's always the same thing."

"Look Joey, she's back in school now and with me working and training, it's hard to get time together, so if I'm late…"

"Quit your job." Joey's face was stone cold serious.

"What, I can't afford to quit my job, Marissa or no Marissa."

"You touched your money from the Reno fight?"

"No it's still in the bank 8500 after, paying the cut man and your cut."

"Good, you're gonna need it. It's been two months since your fight in Reno, and in nine weeks you've got another fight. One you're not in shape for, so we need to bump up your training."

"Wait," Ryan said confused, Joey had never told him to quit his job for a fight. He'd told Ryan to take time off to train or to let injuries heal, but never simply quit. "Why am I not in shape for this fight?"

"Because I scored you a fight against Peter Wilcox, the number three ranked middleweight."

"I thought Wilcox's next fight was on the under card for the Jones bout?"

"So is yours."

Ryan face lit up, "You're telling me I'm fighting Peter Wilcox on the under card for a nationally televised pay per view fight?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you kid. This is your big break, your rep as a strong up and comer, his rep as the next middleweight champ, the promoters saw you in Reno, said it would be a perfect match. Ryan this is it, the start of something big, 150,000 dollar fight."

Ryan's eyes lit up, this was his chance, not only could he prove himself in the ring, but he could prove himself to everyone who said he'd never be worth anything, people like Julie Cooper. "I'll quit tomorrow."

Joey cleared his throat and looked at the ground, "One more thing."

"Anything Joey," Ryan quickly answered.

"I think you should cool things off with Marissa, at least until this fight is over."

Ryan took a step back and looked at Joey with complete shock. He licked his lips and locked eyes with his trainer, "I can't do that. Not for any amount of money, I'm sorry."

"Look kid, I like Marissa, she's a great girl, and yeah she's good for you. But… you've worked so hard for this."

"And I'll continue to work for it, plenty of guys box and have girlfriends, wives even. I can handle both."

Joey sighed, he was trying to find a way to get his point through to Ryan, "Kid, do you really see this thing going anywhere? I mean when you first told me about her I figured this was just a fling. You hadn't had a girl in a while, I figured she'd be good for a few lays then it would be over… But you're taking it all a little far don't you think? I mean I saw her friends and family at the fight, how do you know you're not just slumming, to this girl?"

His jaw clenched , he hadn't meant it to. But someone, even Joey, talking about Marissa that way made his blood boil. "It's not like that, I'll quit my job, I'll train harder, but I won't give her up. I'm sorry." Ryan turned and went back inside the gym slamming the door behind him, leaving Joey standing alone with his thoughts.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Alright this chapter's got a M rating. That being said I should have to explain why.

Chapter Twelve

Ryan had kept his word to Joey, he'd stepped up training and managed to handle both training and a girlfriend. Though he had to admit it help not having a job. He still got up at four thirty and ran, only now instead of going to work from six am until two, he shadow boxed at home until eight then went to the gym as soon as the doors opened. By four in the afternoon, he was finished with training and Marissa was home from school. This left the night for them to be together. It had been over a month since their night in Reno and they still had not talked about what had happened. Occasionally Marissa would slip an 'I love you,' into the conversation but other than that nothing had progressed. They spent some nights together, still only sleeping in each other's arms, Ryan couldn't say the thought of sex hadn't crossed his mind. However, since Marissa had not tried to progress anything since Reno, he was worried that she might have just gotten caught up in the moment. He knew he never wanted to hurt her, and with her history sex was an issue he didn't want to push.

When Ryan woke up, he figured it to be no different than any other Saturday, he had no idea how his world was about to change.

"That's it Kid, stick left, move into, get that extension." Joey called into the ring as he watched Ryan spar. The day's training was almost over, and much to his dismay Marissa was standing in a corner waiting for Ryan, while Joey tried to squeeze in a few extra rounds in the ring. The fight was too close for Ryan to get distracted now.

Marissa smiled as she listened to Joey call directions into the ring at Ryan. She knew what his upcoming fight meant to him, and how proud of it he was. Sometimes when he talked of his fight and the money it was going to make him, she wondered if he knew that she would love him and be proud of him even if he never made a name for himself. She would still have everything she needed in him, even if he was still just a construction worker trying to make it by. He was everything to her, and some days she wondered if he realized that.

"Hey baby," a large burly man started to walk past her, then stopped and pressed his arm against a piece of wall next to her.

Marissa immediately began top feel uncomfortable, she took a step back from the man and continued to watch Ryan in the ring.

"What's girl like you doing in here? I mean you're too pretty to be here, you might go giving some of these guys the wrong idea."

"I'm waiting for my boyfriend," she pointed to the ring, and took yet another step away from the man who kept inching his way closer to her.

The man turned and looked to the ring, turning back to Marissa he gave her a twisted smile, "You're Atwood's girl? Now how did he manage to catch something like you, I mean he's been with some pretty girls, but never anything like you." The man slid his arm down the wall and near Marissa's waist.

Marissa shivered with discomfort, and took a sigh of relief when she noticed Ryan walking to the corner of the ring to remove his headgear. "Look, Ryan's done so…"

"So what?" The man stepped in front of her, his arm still pinned to the wall. "You gotta go jump in the kid's arms? If you're looking for someone hard, Atwood's not your boy, unless it makes you hard to get roughed up by ten year olds in juvie." The man sneered and moved his other arm against the wall pinning Marissa in.

"Hey! Get away from her!" Ryan bellowed from the ring.

The man distracted let his arms drop from the wall, Marissa took advantage of this and ran to Joey's side, her heart pounding in a nervous fright.

"What you worried your girl might get some real action and dump your pussy ass?"

Ryan jumped out of the ring and directly into the man's face, "All I'm saying is leave her alone."

"We were doing just fine until you got all mixed up in here. Come on baby let's lose this pussy," The man tried to step around Ryan to where Marissa was standing.

"I said leave her alone," he gave the man a shove against the wall.

The man responded by taking a hard swing at Ryan, who side stepped the blow and he the man directly in the kidneys. The blow sent him to his knees, and Ryan could have walked away right then and there. But something inside him took over, he pulled back and hit the man in the right jaw first, then the left. Blood flew out as his head swung roughly from one side to the other. Ryan pulled back and gave the man another shot in the stomach. He was pulling back for a fourth punch when, Joey and two other guys in the gym grabbed him and pulled him away.

"Take him outside!" Joey commanded like a General in charge of his troops. As the men pulled a kicking Ryan outside, Joey walked over to Marissa who had cowered by the side of the ring. He saw that she was shaking and crouched down to her. "Are you ok?"

Marissa shook her head and pointed to the door Ryan had been drug out of, "Just check on him."

Joey nodded, then motioned over to one of the men who'd carried Marissa outside, "Keep an eye on her." The man nodded and stood over Marissa like a bodyguard as Joey walked outside.

"What the hell was that!" Joey slapped Ryan in head as he yelled.

"What!"

"You could have killed that guy back there."

"So I suppose to just let him scare Marissa like that, and walk away?"

"No you're suppose to handle things like an adult. You're not a fucking street fighter anymore Ryan, you can serious hurt someone, you could go to jail over shit like that. I mean did you think about that?"

"No at the moment I was thinking about Marissa, and protecting her."

"Is she worth it Ryan? You are pissing away everything we've been working for since you were seventeen, is she worth that? What makes her worth your career! I mean what makes her different from any of the other girls you've fucked over the years, is she really that good that'd you'd piss it all away for her?"

"She's different because I'm not fucking her Joey! That should tell you something!" His face was red and he knew his temper was about to go again, he stormed back into the gym and waved away the man who'd been watching over Marissa. "Are you ok?" His voice gentle and calm. He watched as she did nothing but shake her head, "Come on let's go." He took her hand and led her out.

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Ryan felt his eyes starting to drift closed as he sat on Marissa's sofa watching television with her. Marissa saw this, and knew that he she should take him back to Chino soon. There had been a tension between them ever since they'd left the gym. She tried not to let him feel her hesitance towards, and tried to act normal, and since he hadn't mentioned anything about it. She figured she's done a decent job.

"Are you ready to go home?" She softly asked him, when she noticed his eyes had been closed for several minutes.

Ryan shrugged and mumbled, "Sure."

"Ok let me go upstairs and get my purse," she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and bounded upstairs.

When she moved from the couch, Ryan shook himself awake and waited a few moments and then followed her up the stairs. For a brief moment he leaned in her doorway and watched her before he spoke. "Is everything ok?" He knew the answer to his question, but he wanted to hear what she had to say.

Marissa jumped at the sound of his voice, not expecting to have him there leaning in her doorframe watching her. "Yeah sure everything's fine," she tucked some hair behind her ears and continued to riffle through her purse searching for her car keys.

Ryan took a few cautious steps into her room, "Then why are you so distant?" His voice hoarse as he questioned her.

"I'm not," she answered without looking at him.

"Marissa, look at me," he commanded. "Why have you been so distant?"

She looked at him and swallowed hard, "When you're boxing that's your job, and it's a part of you, but I can see the violence in it as something you do because it's your job. But today… when you attacked that guy… I was with a violent man and… well you know how that turned how."

The distance between them closed as Ryan took a few more steps towards her, she backed up slightly, but not enough to stop him from moving in. "I'm not like him Marissa. I mean what was I suppose to do, I saw the fear in your eyes and… I snapped because you weren't safe and I wanted to make you safe." He shrugged and looked to the ground for the first time all day he felt ashamed of his actions. "I can't help the fact that I wanted to make you feel safe." He reached out and tipped her face up to his bringing their eyes to a meeting point. As their eyes locked he took her hand and bit his lip before speaking, "I have too… because I love you." It was the first time in his life he'd been able to say those words out loud to another person and truly mean them.

Marissa dropped his hand and stepped back from his as soon as she heard the words. Her hand covered her mouth, "I…" she let out a huge sigh. "I knew you felt that way… I could feel it when I was with you." She began explaining to him. "But, I didn't even realize how badly I need to hear you say that." Tears began to form in her eyes.

Ryan reached out and wiped them away, "I've wanted to say it for so long, since before Reno. I just…" He gave half a laugh, "I guess I was scared, I've never felt this way before. I love you." He ran his hand down her face and rested it on her cheek. She reached up and rested her hand on his. This was their moment. The moment that almost happened in Reno, but even then they knew something didn't quite feel right, now… now as cheesy as it was going to seem if they told anyone the story, this was their moment.

When Ryan leaned in and kissed her, Marissa knew that this was what she'd been waiting for. She could have dated long before she met Ryan, but know she knew why she never did. She matched him kiss for kiss, passion for passion. There was no need for her to ask him to make love to her, they both knew. Breathlessly Marissa broke the kiss, and held a finger to Ryan's lips, "Stay here." She told him as she let the room for a moment and returned with her hand closed around something.

"It's a good thing Summer isn't home," she laughed. "I'd have never heard the end of it if I'd had to go in her room and actually ask for one of these." She placed the condom she'd retrieved from Summer's room on her nightstand.

Ryan licked his lips and pulled her back to him, gently holding her around the waist. He smiled and pressed his forehead against hers briefly before he leaned in and kissed her again. He felt her hands moved to the base of his shirt and as she moved up with it, he took a step back and raised his arms to aid her. Once his shirt had been discarded they moved onto her bed. They had been in this situation before, only this time they were both sure there would be no stopping this time. Ryan dipped his head down to her neck and kissed her. He felt her wither and suppress a giggle as he kissed along her collarbone. He looked up, her face redden with passion and smiling in a girlish way. "I never noticed you were ticklish." He smiled to her then dipped his head back down kissing along her collarbone again to make her giggle.

"Quit that," she giggled and playfully slapped him back.

Ryan looked up to her and grinned, he wanted her to be comfortable and be a bit playful was part of his way of relaxing thing. Marissa's hands ran through his hair as he kissed his way down into the cleavage of her shirt. He lifted his kisses away, and slid his hands down across her stomach, as if he was waiting for permission to go further, she raised her arms, and Ryan continued on lifting the shirt over her head and quickly bringing his lips down onto her stomach. She shivered as he kissed her stomach, and a slight moan escaped her lips as he dipped his tongue into her navel. She didn't wait for him to moved back up, she took her hands from her his hair and removed her own bra as he kissed her stomach. When Ryan lifted his head and noticed that she was completely naked from the waist up, his eyes widen a bit. She was moving things along faster than he'd expected. He tried to stop and study her both for a moment, but her hands slid up his back and pulled up back down to her.

Marissa brought her lips to Ryan's and pressed him to her, breast to breast. They'd laid together naked before, but this was a different energy. Nothing had ever felt more right to Marissa in her life. Ryan's hands slid down her body and stopped at the waistband of the low slung blue jeans. First he caressed her over the fabric, but when he felt her begin to shift under his hands and let small moans slip into her kisses, he moved his hands to the buttons. As he unbuttoned her jeans, Marissa wiggled and help by quickly kicking off her jeans off, leaving her laying completely naked on the bed.. It was taking every bit of resistance Ryan had, not to rip his own clothes off and taken her at that very second.

Ryan stepped off the bed to remove his own jeans, but this time he did stop to study her body. His eyes traveled from her feet, up her legs, across her stomach, over her breast, and finally he met her eyes. Marissa felt herself blush under his gaze. "Don't look at me like that." She told him shyly as their eyes locked.

He smiled softly and shook his head, "My God Marissa you're beautiful." His voice hardly audible, but she heard him loud and clear.

Once the remains of his clothes had been removed, Ryan returned to the bed, lying down next to Marissa. Gently he stroked her hair, and planted soft kisses all over her face and neck. Marissa took advantage of his position and rolled over on top of him. She straddled his chest, and ran both her hands through his hair. Leaning down her kissed him deeply as she slowly moved herself back. As she slid down his body her lips trailed moving to his neck, as her fingers traced the defined muscles of his chest. She moved her fingers to his sides, gently running them up and down, as she kissed her away along his chest. Ryan's erection grew painful with arousal as she rest herself straddling his hips. He groaned in pleasure at the feeling of her lips on his skin. But this wasn't her job, he didn't want tonight to be about him. He placed his hands on Marissa's hips and in one fluid skillful motion, he flipped their position. Marissa looked into Ryan's eyes and gave him a quick playful kiss, "Do I want to know where you learned that?"

"Boxing," he playful smiled back and kissed her as deeply and as passionately as he could. But when he broke the kiss the playfulness was gone, he bit his lip and look at her with an intensity that overwhelmed the moment. "Marissa I'll wait forever for you if I have too, so I want you to be sure about this."

She nodded her head a few times, "Ryan I'm sure, I just need to you know something first." She swallowed hard, slightly embarrassed about what she was about to tell him. "I've really done this once, with Luke."

Ryan gave her a reassuring smiled, "I would have been gentle anyway."

She reached over to her nightstand, where she'd put the condom and handed it too him. This was it, Ryan took a hard swallow as he put the condom on and position himself at her entrance. He reached up and ran his fingers down her face as he slowly entered inside her. Marissa closed her eyes and bit her lip at his entry. A slight surge of pain shot through her body, followed by a shiver of pleasure. He could see the bits of pain as she squeezed her eyes shut, so he fought off all his primal urges and remained completely still inside her as she adjusted. Marissa felt her breathing grow heavy and involuntarily her hips bucked at him. Still Ryan waited completely motionless, his own breathing intensifying. When Marissa opened her eyes and dug her fingers into his back, was when Ryan began to slowly move inside her. At first he held her hips and controlled the pace as slowly as he could possibly go. But he could only fight off his passion so much, as she began to moan and move her hips towards him. Ryan bent his head down and began to suck on her neck as pace quicken and their moans grew louder and more urgent. He felt perfect inside her, like nothing she'd ever felt before. Sensations began to well up inside her that she could explain, things she'd never felt before. She couldn't control her cries of pleasure, or her hands digging deeper into Ryan's shoulders leaving bruises and scratch. Every combined, him inside her, his hands on her body, his mouth sucking on her neck, it all became so intense. Her fingers dug in and kneed even deeper into Ryan's flesh, and all at once she exploded, her head spinning as she released uncontrollable sounds of pleasure. Just as Ryan felt like he himself couldn't take much more, he felt her muscle tighten around him, squeezing, and sending him spilling over the edge in a new pleasure for him.

Breathlessly he collapsed on top of her, trying to support as much of his weight as he could. The sweat made their bodies slick and Ryan couldn't support his own weight any longer. He rolled off of Marissa, and took the opportunity to discard the condom, before pulling her onto his chest. Lazily he reached up and pushed some of the matted hair off of her forehead and behind her ears. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, still too breathless to speak. She snuggled into his chest and purred a bit. "Ummm, that was…" She paused trying to find a words that could describe what she'd just felt. "That was… wow," she finally sighed out. She watched as Ryan nodded several times and smiled with closed eyes. She smiled back at him, even though he couldn't see her, and focused on his fingers twirling her hair. "Umm," she moaned again. "I love it when you do that…. When I was in second grade they would let all the classes et together and watch a movie together on Friday afternoon, and I used to always sit in front of this one girl because she would play with my hair the entire movie, she became my best friend because of that. And sometimes I still get her to play with my hair, you might know her, her name's Summer. But it's ok you can be the one who plays with my hair now."

Ryan gave a slight chuckled and bent down to gently kiss her forehead. He was trying very hard not to be a typical male, but sleep really was starting to over take him and Marissa could tell. "I love you," she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest in a sleeping position.

"I love you, Marissa." With his free arm her pulled her in as tight as and close as he could get her, and for as long as he could, he was going to keep her that way.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"Ryan…" Marissa whispered into her sleeping boyfriend's ear. When she noticed his lack of response, she leaned up and kissed the area behind his ear, "Ryan." She whispered again

Ryan groaned and pulled his eyes half-open to give her a sleepy gaze, "It's Sunday, I sleep in." He mumbled and let his eyes fall closed again.

"It's nine in the morning this is sleeping in for you," she let her kisses trail from his ear down his neck. "Don't go back to sleep," she moved her way along his jaw line and began to kiss around his mouth.

"Umm unn," he shook his head playfully trying to escape her kisses. "Sleep is good."

Marissa pulled back and grinned at his playfulness, it was a trait that wasn't seen that often, but it was something that just made him that much more adorable to her. "I'll get you awake." She gave him a stretched grin and lightly ran her fingers down his face, before she tossed the covers off of both of them.

"Now I'm just cold and naked and still going back to sleep," he told her through the slits of his eyes.

Her response was to merely shake her head, making Ryan think he'd won the battle. But Marissa Cooper was not one to let anyone get the best of her if she could help it; she had a few tricks up her sleeve. Before Ryan had a chance to pull the covers back over them, she threw a leg across him and sat straddling his chest. Marissa had never felt this comfortable with another person before, she wasn't ashamed of herself of her body with him, she wasn't afraid to let him touch her. And for the first time ever she wasn't afraid to be the initiator. Her actions worked for their purpose, Ryan full opened his eyes, and moved his torso upward trying to catch her lips in a kiss, which Marissa was artfully dodging as she giggled. Determined not to let him be the one, who started things this time, she finally moved in and caught his bottom lip between her teeth, biting down gently and urging him towards her. Both smiled as they kissed, making it all the more difficult to achieve a deep kiss, but neither was worried about that, this was a level of playfulness they'd never achieve before.

"Hey Coop," Summer unknowingly called for the other side of Marissa's door, and before Marissa had a chance to break her kiss and respond, Summer barged in. "Cohen and I are going tooo…." Summer's eyes flew open as she saw Marissa naked sitting on top of Ryan, trying to cover herself with her arms. She quickly jerked her head in the other direction and lifted a hand up to shield her eyes. "Ewww! Ewww! Ewww! Coop, Chino, ew, ew, I didn't need to see that."

"See what?" An oblivious Seth heard Summer from the hallway and followed her voice into Marissa's room. "OoooKKKaayyyy, right…." Seth also jerked his head and shielded his eyes, "Yeah didn't need to see that," he put his free arm around Summer.

"Ummm, yeah" Summer waved her free hand and looked for something to say. "Ok, well, come on Cohen… Coop, Chino, we'll see you guys downstairs, DRESSED." She quickly pulled Seth from the room, nodding her head in shock the whole way out, and slamming the door behind her.

Marissa collapsed red faced into Ryan's chest. "Oh my God," she laughed and shook her head into him.

"Jesus, Cooper what kind of cheap apartment is this, you don't have a lock on the door?" He grinned and hugged her to him.

"Well we didn't exactly think about that last night now did we."

"We, oh no, you were the last one to walk out the door last night."

"Ryan, I was not."

"You were too, when you went into Summer's room."

Marissa jerked her head off his chest and pointed her finger at him, "Um someone got up to go to the bathroom last night at 3 am, right after I did."

"Oh yeah," Ryan shifted his eyes around the room and avoided eye contact.

"Yeah, so this is all your fault."

'I'm not the one who crawled on top of me this morning, if we'd still been laying there sleeping, Summer would not have freaked out nearly as bad."

"I didn't hear you complaining after I got on top of you."

"Anyone else want to walk in on us?" He threw his hands in the air to laugh off what had just happened. "The Cohens, you dad. Your mother maybe?"

"Don't say that."

"Yeah you have a point, she might actually walk in, I mean her anti-Ryan sensors are probably going nuts right now." He laughed and kissed Marissa on the forehead.

All Marissa could do was laugh, just bury her face in Ryan's chest and laugh. "I cannot believe that just happen."

"We'd better get dressed and go down there before they think…"

"That we just continued on as soon as they left the room?"

"Yeah," Ryan nodded his head at her.

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Summer and Seth silently sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee and silently looking at each other. "So…" Seth took a sip of his coffee and looked up at her.

"No, the answer is no." Summer bluntly stated.

"There was no question, Summer all I said was so…"

"I don't care, after seeing that, the answer will always be no." She finished her sentence, and jumped almost knocking the table over as she heard someone coming through the kitchen door.

"Ryan, hey buddy," Seth jumped from and slapped Ryan on the back, shaking his hand at the same time. "Good to see you this morning… again… and dressed."

"Seth why are you touching me?"

Seth quickly let go of Ryan's hand and sat back down, "Sorry, too much coffee, it makes me all crazy in the mornings."

"Where's Coop?" Summer got right to her point.

Ryan looked down at the ground and tried not to seem embarrassed as he answered, "She's umm getting dressed."

"Good." Summer looked to Seth and Ryan standing in the kitchen both with their hands in their pockets like schoolboys. "You two go do something together," she waved her hands at them. "I need to talk to Coop, it could take a while." She watched as Ryan and Seth looked at each other then back to her. "That means leave… And Cohen… we have a date 5 o'clock sharp."

They looked to each other again and starting making their way to the door, "Did she just kick us out?" Ryan raised an eyebrow to Seth.

"Yes but don't argue, just keep walking," Seth leaned over covering his mouth he whispered into Ryan's ear, "She has rage black-outs"

"I heard that Cohen!"

"Quick run!" Seth grabbed Ryan by the shoulder and pulled him out the door.

No sooner had the door closed then Marissa made her way down the stairs. "Did someone just leave?"

"Not willingly." Summer answered.

"Huh?" Marissa walked the last few stairs stroking her hair with a brush.

"The boys I kicked them out, don't worry they'll be back."

"Ok," Marissa cocked her head to the side and gave Summer a funny look.

"So, sit let's talk. You, Chino, naked, bedroom, let's discuss it…. But let's not give me that mental image ever again."

"Well it would have helped if you'd knocked."

"How was I suppose to know you had company, I mean its not like his car was here or anything like that."

"You still could have knocked."

"Yeah, yeah, so…" Summer gave her best friend a slick grin.

Marissa gave a deep sigh and a broad smile, "He told me he loved me and… Everything just felt… perfect, like more perfect than anything I'd ever felt in my life. I am insanely, little kid like, trashy romance novel, bad romantic comedy, in love with him." Another smiled crossed her face, and she met her best friends loving gaze. She knew Summer had never seen her like this, she'd never seen herself like this. It finally felt like maybe for once, her life was falling coming together.

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"Coop?" Summer called into the kitchen to Marissa. "Have you heard from Chino?" She looked at her watched again. It was ten till six and she hadn't heard a single word from Cohen. She'd told him and Ryan to get lost, but she didn't actually mean get lost. She meant leave and be back at five for their date, she told him that. Now he was risking a rage blackout.

"No, why?"

"Because he and Cohen left here together when I kicked them out and now Cohen is almost an hour late for our date and I'm going to kick his bony ass for it. I know he's like heterosexually in love with your boyfriend and all, but still I am suppose to be more important."

"Wait?" Marissa poked her head into the living room and gave Summer a quizzically grin. "He's in love with Ryan?"

"In that envious, heterosexual crush, talks about him, wishes he had a body like that kind of way, yeah."

Marissa rolled her eyes and went back into the kitchen laughing, Summer always rolled her eyes, but her was in annoyance. She jumped when the phone rang, she didn't even have to say hello, and her instincts told her who it was. "Cohen you'd better be outside my door with a good excuse."

"I need to talk to Marissa," his tone emotionless.

"You're an hour late for our date, and you call here wanting Marissa, you'd better already be dead"

"Summer!" He yelled without yelling. "I need Marissa on the phone."

She sensed the urgency in his voice and silently walked into the kitchen and held the phone out to

Marissa. "It's Seth." Her tone as cold as his had been.

Marissa raised an eyebrow, but immediately felt a sinking in her gut, something was wrong. She hadn't heard from Ryan since he'd left with Seth, and now… Well her real tip off was Summer calling him Seth and not Cohen. "Seth? What's going on?"

"It's Ryan… Well not exactly… We went to Chino today and… Joey died of a heart attack last night…"

"Oh my God," Marissa clasped her hands to her mouth and felt the hot tears begin to stream from her eyes. "Where's Ryan."

"We're at my house… He's…. Well he's pretty much unresponsive, he didn't even want me to call you."

"I'm on my way." She hung up the phone before Seth could put forth protest.

Frantically Marissa began searching for her purse and car keys; Summer watched helplessly not knowing what was wrong or what to do. "Coop… what happened?"

"Ryan's trainer, Joey… He died last night. They're at the Cohen's I gotta go."

Summer jumped into responsive mode, "I'll drive you."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Ryan focused his eyes into the blue water of the Cohen's swimming pool, as he sat outside on a deck chair and smoked what must have been his tenth cigarette in a row. There were no thoughts in his mind, he wasn't in the mood to think, or reflect, or deal. So he focus his eyes on the water and his mind on the cigarette in his hand.

"I didn't know you smoked." Sandy Cohen announced his presence and sat on the edge of the chair next to Ryan's.

"I don't." Without looking, or even really acknowledging Sandy's presence, Ryan coldly responded.

"That certainly looks like a cigarette to me." Sandy was trying to lighten the mood, trying to find something to say. He had come outside to console a man in need of consolation, but when he walked outside to find the figure sitting in one of his lawn chairs, he didn't see the man Seth had introduced him to that morning in the kitchen. That day seemed like ages ago, because when Sandy came outside all he found was a boy. A boy scared, lost, and uncertain.

Ryan took a deep drag of his cigarette, as he pulled it from his lips, he carefully flicked the ashes into an empty soda can, and drew it back up to his face. For a moment he examined the object in between his fingers as if he was wondering how it had ended up there. "When I was younger," he finally looked away from the pool and over to Sandy. "Before I got sent to juvie I used to smoke. I was a kid, I thought it made me look tougher than I actually was."

Sandy was sure now, that he wasn't looking at a man, As his eyes met Ryan's he remember what it had been like for himself, when he was younger and his father left. "Look Ryan," he started then stopped to sigh. "I know what you don't want right now, so all I'm going to do is offer you this," Sandy held a key out to Ryan. "Kirsten and I want you to know that you can stay here as long as you like, or need too. We've got more than enough room and the pool house is all yours."

Humbly Ryan took the key from Sandy's hand, "Thank you Mr. Cohen, I appreciate it, but… I won't be here long as soon as…"

"As long as you want, or need," Sandy cut Ryan off by repeating himself. Sandy paused when he heard someone from behind clear their throat, he glanced over his shoulder to see Seth standing, waiting in the wings. "Well, I leave you two be," He turned to make his way back inside only to paused and turn back to Ryan, "And Ryan, no more of that Mr. Cohen stuff, it's Sandy."

Ryan shook his head at Sandy then focused his eyes back on the water as Seth took a seat in the exact spot Sandy had been sitting in. He reached into his pocket and removed another cigarette from the pack he'd bought on the way back from Chino. For a moment he flip the cigarette through his fingers and wondering if the chair in which Sandy, then Seth had sat in was going to be the console Ryan chair.

"So…" Seth bobbed his head and watched as Ryan lit his cigarette. "Isn't that a bad idea for your boxing?" Ryan shot Seth a look, which immediately made him wished he hadn't tried to make a joke. "Sorry… I called Marissa, she should be here any minute."

"What the hell did you do that for?" A harsh tone seeped from his voice as he asked Seth the question without ever taking his eyes off the water.

"I know you said not to…"

"Yeah I did, and apparently listening's not something your very good at."

"Look I just figured if anyone would be able to help you right now it would be…"

"Marissa's been through enough, she doesn't need to deal with my issues as well."

"Some how I don't think Marissa's going to add this to her list of problems she's had. I think she might want to be there for you."

Ryan shrugged and lifted his head up watching as the smoke flowed from his mouth and nose, "Doesn't matter, eventually she's going to leave," he leaned his head back against the chair, "Just like everyone else. First my dad, then my brother, my mom, and now Joe… Fuck it she can leave I don't care anymore."

Seth wasn't sure how to handle the situation, he could sense Ryan's mood starting to become hostile, and he didn't want to get defensive. "You don't mean that man."

"I don't?" Ryan quickly pulled his head to the side meeting Seth eye to eye with a stone cold serious gaze. "Joey was the only person who ever gave a damn about me, and if it weren't for him and what he did for me… I'd fucking be in jail right now Seth. And if I weren't in jail, I'd just be dead. I would say an addict but I never liked drugs enough for that. Don't you get it?" Ryan stood up and kicked over the chair he'd been sitting in, "I didn't fucking grow up with this Seth," he waved his arms violently around motioning to Seth's home. "I didn't have money, I didn't to go private school, I didn't have a gate at the front of my neighborhood. Closest thing to a gated community we have in Chino is bars on the windows. Everything I've become I owe to Joey. And the last conversation I had with him was an argument, a fight, about Marissa. The man gave me everything and I fucking disrespected him over a girl." He twisted his face, and pressed his lips together trying to hold back the emotions that would cause him tears. He dropped his voice from a yell into a normal speaking tone, "Over a girl who one day is going to wake up and realize that she can do better, that her fucking mother's right and that she doesn't need to slum it anymore, and she's going to leave just like everyone else." His hard gaze was still locked into Seth's shocked and scared eyes.

"You're wrong." Marissa stood just inches for the Cohen's backdoor, which she had walked out of just in time to hear Ryan's rage induced speech to Seth. She watched as his unmerciful stare lifted for Seth's eyes to hers. "I heard every word you said about me, and every word of it was wrong." She licked her lips and tried to get him to lock eyes with her.

Ryan bit down hard on the inside of his cheeks and dodged the eye contact she was trying to force. He reached down and violently grabbed his jacket, "I'm going for a walk," he told Seth. Before Marissa had a chance to move, he stuffed the pool house key in his pocket and cut through the Cohen's side yard at a jogging pace he knew no one would be able to keep up with.

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He wished he could sleep, not that lying against the wall of the lifeguard house would be all that great of a sleep but still it would be an escape. Sick, it was the only way to describe how he felt. Sick with guilt, sick with hurt, but mostly sick with himself and his actions. Ryan had never had this feeling before, the feeling like the heaviness in his chest was going to make his head explode. It was worse than any punch he'd ever taken in the ring, worse than the fists he'd taken in juvie, worst than the punches of his mother's may abusive boyfriends. He curled his knees to his chest and rested his head on them trying to wish it all away, he wanted to be strong, he wanted to have something to fight for so he could prove his strength. But all he felt was weak.

She steadied her steps so they were silently as she made her way up the slope. Patiently she had waited, giving him sometime alone, knowing that consolation may not have been what he wanted, but it was in fact what he'd needed. Marissa had known where he would be, his knowledge of Newport was limited and she was certain Chino was not some place he wanted to be that night. For a moment she watched him, his head buried in his knees. A flash of the pervious night went through her mind that felt like a million years ago at that moment. She loved him; there was no doubt in her mind. But she didn't know how to console him.

"I thought I'd find you here." Quietly she whispered.

Ryan's head jerked up from his knees, he didn't want to be seen like this, and it was why he'd run away. His tongue snaked out of his mouth, soothing his dry lips as he stared at her trying to look emotionless. "Well it's a long walk to Chino." He coldly responded.

She gave him a sad smile and took a few steps into the room. When he didn't make any attempt to move away, she moved in closer, until finally she crouched down the his level. Reaching out she ran her fingers through the hair near his temple, and softly brushed it back. He shook and pulled back slightly from her touch, only to feel her do it over and over until he finally met her eyes with his.

"I won't tell you it's going to be ok, and I won't pretend to know how you feel, okay." She closed her eyes and tried to fight back the tears. She couldn't cry, he didn't need to see her cry for him it would only make things worse. Marissa wanted to hold him, make him feel safe, the way he made her feel. But at the moment he was like a wild animal and if she tried to get too close he'd run for the woods. She kept her eyes locked with his trying to silently dispel everything he'd told Seth. His eyes looked back at her unapologetic for what he'd said.

"Do you want me to take you back to the Cohen's?" She watched his head shake as he pulled away from her touch. "Ok, then can I stay here with you?" A response to the question didn't matter to Marissa, right or wrong she was going to stay there with him. He shrugged, and she moved next to him and propped herself against the wall. A moment passed before Marissa reached up and gently nudged his head towards her shoulder. At first he met her with resistance, so she pushed harder and forced his head onto. With one hand she held him there until she felt him begin to relax. With a deep sigh Marissa looked out to the waves crashing into the beach then back down at Ryan. She had no real comparison to match the pain of what he was going through, but she had suffered her own and was determined to shared her found strength with him.

There was nothing she could do for him, feeling powerless was a feeling she was all too familiar with. Her eyes stay on him, with her mind searching for something she could do. With the utmost care and caution she leaned down moving her mouth near his ear, she softly sang to him the chorus of a song that had always been one of comfort to her. "And I'll be awful sometimes, weakened to my knees, but I'll learn to get by on little victories."


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: First to answer a question I've been asked, the song used in at the end of the last chapter is a song call Little Victories by Matt Nathanson (who happens to be a friend of mine, my other story Curve of the Earth is named after one of his songs as well, he's a totally awesome musician check him out at Secondly this chapter was really hard for me to write on several fronts, so if the quality of the story has dropped for you because of this chapter I apologize, I really had to force myself to write this one and it went through at least ten drafts.

Chapter Fifteen

"Come in," Ryan bellowed from bathroom of the Cohen's pool house. He looked to the bathroom shelf, then back down into his toiletries bag. "Razor, shaving cream, toothbrush," he mumbled to himself trying to make sure he'd remembered to pack everything.

Marissa stepped inside the pool house and looked around confused for a moment before realizing his voice had come from the bathroom.

"Hey," he casually greeted her, as he walked from the bathroom directly to the closet.

"Hey," she retorted back and gave him a slight wave. Cold wasn't exactly the word Marissa would have used to describe the way Ryan had been acting, but it was certainly borderline. Just over two weeks had passed since Joey's passing, and Ryan had spent most of that time locked inside the Cohen's pool house, speaking in single phrases. It killed her that there was nothing she could do for him, and even if there had been he wouldn't let her do anything. Every time she tried to touch him he pulled back, if she tried to crawl in bed with him, he turned away. She knew he wasn't looking for sympathy, but he wasn't letting anyone give him what he needed. Marissa sighed and looked over to the closet where he was standing. "So how are you feeling?"

Ryan looked back to her and shrugged as he grabbed clothes from the closet and stuffed them into a duffel bag. "I'm leaving for Atlantic City where in five days I have my first major fight, millions of people are going to see it on television. I haven't touched a bag or threw a punch in two weeks, I'm going to work with a team of people whom I don't know, and I'm twelve pounds overweight. Which means I have to lose twelve pounds before the weigh in which is in four days, and for the first time I don't have Joey in my corner…" His eyes sharply looked up to her, "And please don't give me any bullshit about how he'll be there in spirit."

Marissa pressed her lips together and quietly sat down on the bed. She didn't know what to say all she wanted to do was take away his pain, ease his mind, and make things better. "Ryan," she said his name softly to get his attention.

Something about the tone in her voice made him stop his violent packing and meet her eyes. "Yea." His much not much louder than a whisper.

"Do you ever wonder why you do it? I mean you told me the whole story about how you and Joey met and how he saw you fighting, but sometimes do you ever wonder what you're fighting for?"

"I don't really think about it. Mostly I think about what I have to do to win." He turned back to his bags and resumed packing.

Marissa took a deep sigh and closed her eyes, "What time's your plane leave?"

He glance down at his watch, "I have to be at the airport in an hour."

"Do you want me to take you, we could spend sometime together."

Ryan stood and slung his bag over his shoulder, "I already called a cab."

"Oh." She looked down and began to pick at the polish on her nails.

"I'm gonna go tell the Cohen's I'm leaving and say bye." He moved to walk out of the pool house and stopped when he noticed Marissa still sitting on the bed. "You coming?"

"Ryan." She looked up to him waiting for his eyes to meet hers.

"Yeah?" He arched his eyebrows and looked at her.

"No matter what happens, I love you." Her voice barely a whisper.

His eyes quickly darted from hers, around the room, to the ceiling, at a picture on the nightstand, then finally back to hers. He tried to tear himself away from her eyes, but couldn't, roughly he bit the inside of his own bottom lip before answering her. "I know." His tone emotionless. And as soon as the words left his mouth he turned and left the pool house closing the door behind him, leaving her there alone on the bed.

It was the first time Marissa had said those words to him since the night they made love, and it wasn't the response she'd hoped for. In fact it was his response that scared the hell out of her.

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"Let's go to the tale of the tape," the announcer said, as everyone gathered in the Cohen's living room to watch Ryan's fight.

"See Tommy what makes this fight uneven is we have young Ryan Atwood who's virtually unknown, I mean this is only the kid's tenth professional fight, and he comes into this fight at a sever disadvantage. He had a bit of a weight problem early in the week and had to drop close to twelve pounds this before the weigh in."

The other announcer chimed in, "Then we also have to mention that sadly Atwood lost his long time friend and trainer Joey DiAntonio just three weeks before the fight. It's a wonder he didn't pull out of the fight."

"On the plus side, I've seen this kid fight before and he's a smart fighter, he's not much of a brawler, only when necessary. He manages to out boxer his opponent, and throw timed power shots more than capable of ending fights."

"Well I hope you're right because with a weight problem and a height disadvantage Atwood's gonna have to box his way through this one. Well the fight's about to start let's go to the ring announcer."

Marissa held her breath as she watched Ryan enter into the ring and go through the motions of beginning a fight, and as the bell rang signal the start of the first round.

Usually fighter's take the first few rounds to feel each other out, throwing jabs and trying to set up shots. Ryan wasn't interested in that. He came out of the gates swinging wildly throwing hard shots. He wasn't boxing, he was fighting. Within the first minute of the round he'd scored a knockdown, but not one based on skill, it was one based on rage.

Marissa watched half the round wide eyed, and the other half with her head buried in Summer's shoulder. This wasn't what she had seen that day in the gym, when she'd first kissed him. There was no grace in his moment; he was fighting like he had nothing to lose. It was in the fifth round that Ryan started to tire from his hardcore style, he punches became slower and less effective, he left himself open for the other fighter to time his shots and make them hurt. His body exhausted from being the quick weight fluctuation was bruising easily. By the end of the sixth round, he was being warned by the referee for excessive clenching and his right eyelid was starting to bleed.

For every punch Ryan took, Marissa winced and squeezed her eyes shut. When a wild punch thrown by Ryan cause a head butt that busted open his eyelid in the ninth, Marissa had enough. "I can't watch this anymore." She left the room and walked out by the Cohen's pool.

Sandy looked to Kirsten, who looked to Seth. Seth shrugged and looked to Summer, only to turn the attention to Jimmy. Jimmy Cooper held his hands up in a lost motion, "What can I do? I mean it's part of the sport."

"I don't think that's it Mr. Coop…" Summer looked past Jimmy's shoulder to Marissa.

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Seven stitches, that's what it took to close up Ryan's eyelid. When it went to the cards after the head butt, he was a unanimous victory, but with a close score. He'd taken the early rounds and had the fight gone the full twelve rounds, chances are he wouldn't have been victorious. He laid down in his hotel bed the night before a winner; his first major fight, a career-making break and he'd proven himself. But he didn't feel like a winner. He'd fought sloppy and dirty, he didn't come into the fight with the right state of mind and it caused him to steer off his trained path. When he looked into his corner there was no familiar face to raise his arm, and when he looked ringside there were no clapping friends, no one there to be proud of him. But how could anyone be proud of him when he wasn't even proud of himself.

Ryan silently walked the path up the Cohen's driveway, it was nearing two am, and he didn't want to wake anyone up. He felt no need to announce his presence only silently enter and try and get a decent sleep. As he entered into the room, he though he saw a form in the bed, thinking it was just pillows he flicked on the light.

"Hey," Marissa wiped her eyes and sat up to greet him.

"Hey," he answered turning his eyes and lifting his hand to his eye trying to shield her from seeing his injury.

"Oh my God," she stood from bed and moved in close to him tracing her finger over the stitches but not touching them. "That's worse than I thought it was."

"It's not that bad." He tried to make light of the gash.

"Oh ok, yeah you've got like nine stitches in your eyelid and it's not that bad."

"Seven," he tried to wince in pain as he answered but the pain was too much for him to even wince. He tossed his bag to the floor and with sore eyes looked at Marissa, "How'd you know I'd be back tonight?"

"Seth told me."

"Why does that not surprise me."

"Well it would have been nice to hear it from you. Ryan you didn't even bother to call while you were in Atlantic City."

"I was really busy, I had to get used to the new trainer, and make weight. It takes time." He moved to the bed and tried to remove his shoes.

"Oh…" A thick silence fell between them. "If you want me to go…"

"Yeah," he laid back onto the bed and tried not to show his pain. "It's probably a better idea that you stay at your place tonight. I just kinda want to go to bed." Before she even had a chance to leave, he'd reached over and clicked the lamp off.

His heart was dropping in his chest, he knew he'd been cold to her, he knew that he was inadvertently breaking his promise to never hurt her. But losing Joey had changed something inside him; he didn't want to have anyone else to lose. And the only person left was Marissa. He knew that what he'd told Seth that night outside had been true. Eventually she'd be gone like everyone else; it was only a matter of time. And wishing that it never happens wasn't going to do him any good. Accepting it felt like his best bet.

Marissa stared at him through the dark, she felt helpless but she knew as well as anyone that you couldn't help someone whom didn't want help. However that didn't mean you couldn't fight them. "Turn the light back on."

"I told you I'm sore I just want to go to bed, I'll call you tomorrow."

"Like you've been calling me for the last three weeks, turn the light back on."

Ryan didn't feel like arguing with her over anything right then, but of all things to argue about the light being off was the easiest thing for him to fix. "There you happy?"

"I know what you've been trying to do and it's not going to work. Not calling, pushing me away, acting like you don't care. You're hurting and you need someone, but you don't want anyone. I've been there Ryan; I lived like that for along time, so this act isn't going to work with me. You want to be a fighter, well you're in for the fight of your life trying to get me." She tried to lock her eyes with his, trying to get an idea of what he was thinking, but it was a lost effort as he darted his eyes around the room.

Inside him his emotions were at war, he knew what he was about to do it, but it wasn't what he wanted to do. Ryan loved Marissa, he loved her so much it scared him but he couldn't take losing someone else and that was all he saw for their future. And this was one situation he could control, if she was going to walk away it was going to be on his terms.

"Marissa just go." He coldly answered her. "There's no point to any of this, so let's just make it easier on both of us and just go."

"Did you not just hear the part of about me not giving up easily?"

"What's the point? We've had a good time, let's just end it before it gets any worse than it already is… I mean it's not like we have a future together, Newport, Chino, prom queen, boxer. I mean where do you see this going… You can't stand it when I fight, I see it in your eyes, and it's the same look I saw that night in the lifeguard house the first night you saw me hurt from fighting. It kills you when I hurt and it a part of the job. And eventually you're going to get tired of it and ask me to stop and I won't stop fighting for anyone."

"What are you fighting for?"

"What… it's my job, you knew that when we…."

"No, what are you fighting for? You've been fighting your whole life, and now you're fighting me, why Ryan? What are you fighting for?"

Ryan sighed and forced his eyes cold; "I'm fighting because you don't get it. Because you won't leave… Because I don't love you." He snatched his eyes away as soon as the words left his mouth.

Marissa stood her ground, she moved closer to the bed and crouched down to his level. "I don't believe that for a second. You can't even look at me right now. And you expect me to believe you mean that? That you didn't just say that in a desperate effort to get me to leave."

"Look it was all forced, contrived…" Ryan licked his lips and stared over her shoulder at the wall. His voice cold, and cocky. "A guy from Chino, you know what kind of trophy it is to fuck a girl from Newport." A sneer crossed his lips; "It took a lot more effort than I thought it would…"

"You can stop, because it's not working." She gave half a laugh, "No man would deal with my mother just to sleep with me. Ryan I love you and I just want to be there."

"I don't want you there." He locked his eyes to hers; they were steel blue and cold as could be.

She could give up on him; her heart wasn't going to let her. But she had been him before, the circumstances were different in her case, but she knew what he was doing. What she was about to do was going to kill her, but she was worn to the point of no other option. "You don't know what you're fighting for, but when you figure it out…" She sighed and forced the tears back. "I'll still be there." Defeated she left the pool house.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

"So why Florida man? I just don't get it, it's like a million miles away." Seth fumbled with his words as he watched Ryan pack the last of his stuff into his bags.

"Because I've got the chance to trainer with some of the best guys in the business. I've got a real chance here, a chance to be something in this business, a chance to be a contender, maybe even a champion. Most guys never get that, they box and get hurt and beat up day after day and they'll never be more than short money fighter, or sparring partners. I get in with these guys and I do good… They've got the connections to really make me something… I can't turn that down Seth." Ryan sat on the bed and saw the puppy dog look on Seth's face. "Florida's not that far, it's like five hours by plane. You can come visit, and I'll be back sometimes, I mean California's always going to be home."

Seth twisted his lips into a goofy frown and shrugged, "Yeah I guess so. Who am I going to talk to about Summer, I mean I wouldn't even be with her if it weren't for you…"

"I didn't do anything to get you with Summer, that was all you man."

"Yeah but you gave me that extra push, that confidence. You had my back when you didn't even know me."

"And I'll still have your back. You and your family had mine when you didn't even know me."

Seth sighed and shrugged, this was his way into something he'd wanted to bring up since the week before when Ryan suddenly announce that he would be leaving to train in Florida. "So did Marissa…"

"I told you I don't want to talk about Marissa."

"Why not? I mean what happened I'm just really confused, and if it's none of my business just say so."

"It's none of your business…" He knew that wasn't going to work with Seth.

"Ok maybe so but still…"

"But still nothing. It just… it wasn't going to work, me and her. It's better that it ended rather than us trying to act like we could actually go somewhere. I mean I knew it all along, that she was out of my league and it was just a matter of time before she saw it too. I just saved us both a lot of pain."

"But you didn't…you just…"

"Seth, I really don't have time for this I have a plane to catch…"

A quick knock on the door saved both men for the increasingly awkward conversation. "Ryan," Kirsten said in a hushed voice. "Your cab is here."

"Thanks Mrs. Cohen."

"Please it's Kirsten. Are you sure we couldn't take you to the airport?"

"No, you guys have already done enough for me."

"It's never enough, if you ever need anything… our doors are always open Ryan." She reached out and handed him a small brown lunch sack. "Here for the plane."

Ryan raised an eyebrow at her; it had become common knowledge to him that Kirsten Cohen was in fact completely helpless in the kitchen. Kirsten laughed at Ryan's look, "Don't worry it's edible. It's some fruit and Sandy made the sandwich."

"Thanks," Ryan smiled and took the bag. He then looked to Seth. "Well man, I guess this is goodbye."

Seth stood from the pool house bed and walked over to where Ryan was standing. "No, it's I'll see you later."

"Yeah," Ryan gave him a half smile. Friends were something he'd never really had in Chino, he had guys he hung out with, but he realized looking at Seth right then, that he'd made his first real friend. "I'll see you later… I'll call when I get settled in. Take care." He held his hand out for Seth to shake.

"Yeah, you too." Seth grasped Ryan's hand firmly for a quick shake, then let go and watched as he made his way towards the driveway.

"I'm going to miss him," Kirsten sighed. "I kinda got used to having him around."

"Me too, me too." Seth mumbled under his breath.

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"This is it," Ryan told the cab driver as he pulled the car in park at the front of a set of town house apartments. "Just keep the meter running, I'll only be a minute." He then quickly disappeared from the cab and towards the door.

Ryan blew out a sharp breath as he approached the door and drew his hand back to knock, only to stop himself within inches of hitting the door. "No," he told himself as he turned around and started back to the cab.

"She's not here." A harsh voice called out to him. Summer stood propped up in the doorway staring at Ryan's back.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have come," Ryan turned around to face Summer. "Just don't even tell her I was here."

"Why are you doing this," she stepped out of the doorframe and closer to Ryan. "She loves you Ryan. God only knows why but she loves you and its killing her… And you. Because you love her. You've just got this idea in your head that she's going to leave you eventually and you're too fucking stubborn to let it go, so you'd rather put both of you through complete misery." Summer kept her eyes on Ryan, even as he looked away from her and too the ground. As she began to speak again she took a few steps closer to him, "I thought you were different, but you're no better than any of the other guys who've hurt her, your hurt is just as intentional as theirs was, if not more because you're totally aware that what you're doing is killing her. You suck and I think deep down inside you know that."

"Summer, I'm just…" He stopped and shook his head, "It's best for everybody okay. She'll et over me, she'll meet someone else and she'll be happy. She'll meet someone who doesn't get punched in the face for a living, someone her mother can be proud of, someone who's not damaged goods…"

"Okay because Marissa's perfect and completely unblemished… I've known her for as long as I can remember, and I never once saw her happy, not until she met you… I just pray that you wake up and realize that what you two have doesn't happen to everyone and the people it does happen to are the ones who deserve it… I pray that one day you're going to wake up and realize that you can't just take your risks in the boxing ring, that you have to take them in life too… Good luck in Florida Ryan… Maybe someday I'll be able to call you Chino again." With that she turned and slammed the door behind her, leaving Ryan standing alone and speechless.

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The night Ryan left, Marissa didn't need to be told. She knew the exact moment his plane took off and she could feel him getting farther away with each minute that passed. Not that it made too much difference; he'd been miles away since the night Joey passed away. On her way home, she made a pit stop at a local gas station. They didn't keep liquor in their apartment being that Marissa was a recovering alcoholic and Summer rarely drank.

On her way inside she clutched the small brown paper bag to her chest, her heart pounding against it as she unlocked the door and made her way straight to the kitchen, never once loosening her grip on the bag and it's contents. The ice sounded different as it crashed into the glass with loud clinks. The smell of the vodka burned her nose and she pour it into the glass, the hairs on her arms stood up as she wrapped her hands around the glass. She brought the glass up to her face, under her nose and took a deep inhale. The weight of it felt heavier than she remembered and the glass colder. She carefully placed it back down on the counter, both the glass and the bottle facing her. She left it there staring at it for what seemed like forever, resolved she left it where it stood and went to lay down on the couch.

It was sometime after midnight that Summer came home from her date with Seth, "Coop!"

Marissa jumped from her sleep on the couch at the sound of Summer's voice she rushed into the kitchen. "What," she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"What the hell is this!" Summer pointed to the glass and the bottle she'd left on the kitchen counter.

"Not what you think."

"Ok well I see a glass, a bottle of vodka and an alcoholic, what am I suppose to think."

"I did drink it Summer," Marissa stared her down her eyes stone cold serious. "I bought the vodka, I brought it home, I poured the glass. But I didn't drink it. I picked it up, felt the cold, got the chills. I smelled it and it burned just like it used too. I'm not going to tell you that with everything that's been going on that all that didn't feel good. And yeah it probably would have felt really good to have downed it and lost myself the way I used too. But I'm stronger than that now and that was my test. You can not believe me if you want, but I can tell you now that I didn't drink it… And I didn't drink it because I've still got too much to lose, he might be in Florida but I still haven't lost him yet, not completely. And even if I have, he wasn't all I have."

A/N: Ok this is kinda a short chapter I know, but its kinda a filler chapter I had this scene I wanted to do with Marissa and I had to find a way to work it in, other than that it's just a quick chapter to push things along. I think there's only going to be two more chapters to this story, three chapters max, so I expect to have it done by the end of the week, beginning of the next at the latest


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Florida had oceans and beaches and at a glance an outsider might have mistaken it for California. But it didn't smell the same and the breeze was thicker, the air heavier. Ryan could tell by his difficulty breathing. Of course it was partially due to the renewed smoking habit and the lack of conditioning, but he easily blamed it on the heavy southern air. The moment he'd stepped off the airplane he'd resolved not to let his time spent there be a waste, so the day he got there he began high intensity training. Boxing was not only his job, now it was also his life. Eight hours of his day was spent working in the gym, another four was spent running outside of the gym, of his remaining twelve hours eight of the were spent sleeping. That left him only four hours of each day to feel alone.

For his first two weeks there he's spend at least one of those hours on the phone with Seth, or Sandy, or Kirsten. With Sandy he mostly talked of boxing, contracts and other legalities. Kirsten and her company's real estate agents had been handling the sale of Joey's home in Chino, so that made for easy conversation with her. And Seth, well he could ramble on for hours about the ten minutes he'd spent with Summer, but each time at some point Seth would pause. Ryan knew that in that pause he wanted to bring up Marissa, but never did. Sometimes… well most of the time Ryan quietly wished he would, he wanted to know how she was doing, if things were okay, a part of him wanted her to as miserable without him as he was without her. But Seth never spoke her name, he guessed after their last conversation about her that Seth thought better than to bring her up again.

But the longer he spent in Florida the more sparse his phone with the Cohens got. His gym schedule changed, his fight schedule became more grueling. He began to travel. First to local places in Florida, then to Mississippi, Missouri, and Tennessee. He went even further Mexico City, Europe, and even Australia. Most fighters put weeks, sometimes even months between fights to make sure their bodies were fully healed and their conditioning was well groomed. But Ryan was hungry and ready to fight more after each fight. His trainers and promoters weren't always happy with how quickly Ryan demanded they get him fights. He was fighting at least once a month, occasional twice, and quickly making a name for himself. His career seemed to be going great; he was still undefeated and was deemed by the boxing world as the newest contender. His name was out there, other boxers wanted a crack at him, what they didn't know was that when he stepped into the ring, Ryan Atwood wasn't fighting them, he was fighting himself. And it was on the nights when he returned to his small studio apartment in South Tampa, that he would have to face the brutal realization that he'd never win his battle.

_"No…What are you fighting for?" _

Her words would echo through his mind when he closed his eyes. Ryan couldn't answer her question that night and even with the time that had passed, he still couldn't come up with an answer. He was suffering by his own design, and the only thing that eased it was stepping into the ring as often as possible. Summer had been right, he wasn't any better than any of the other guys who'd hurt her, except maybe the difference being that'd he'd hurt himself in the process.

These were the thoughts that would keep Ryan up at night, the thoughts of her that would disrupt his eight hours of sleep. Thought of what Summer had said that would pop into his mind and distract him allowing a sparring partner to stick him with a hard shot and knock the wind out of him. It was his longing for her that had brought him to where he was now.

Ryan didn't know why he was there; he'd come back to California to see Seth. To invite him to his fight in Las Vegas. How he ended up on the campus of USC was beyond him and why he was still sitting on a bench watching the a strip of parking lot from a distance… well that was easy to figure out. He wanted to see Marissa; he just needed to see for himself that she was okay. Everything had moved so quickly, it seemed like his mind had been in a complete blur for the last eight months. Like everything that had happened since she left the pool house that day was just a blur. His training in Florida, the fights, the money, it was all just a blur; his focus had stopped the day his own stubbornness forced her to leave.

He'd been sitting on the same bench for hours; he'd driven every parking lot on the campus looking for her car. Once he'd found her car he parked his rental four rows down and found a bench far enough way to where he could see her walking to her car without being noticed. While sitting there he'd learned that college doesn't have bells the way high school did. And people didn't seem to be on any schedule, they just came and went as they pleased. Like the guy who'd been sitting on the bench next to Ryan for over an hour reading a book. They didn't seem to being paying much attention to each other until Ryan finally caught glimpse of Marissa. His eyes locked on her in taking every motion she made. Memorizing them, not knowing if he'd ever be able to bring himself to see her again. He watched her hips sway slightly, he noticed that she walked different than she used to, more hunched over like she was protecting her heart. A bile taste formed in his mouth as he realized that if she was walking to protect her heart, it was only because he'd broken it. The breath that he'd been holding escaped from his lips, and once he was sure the coast was clear, Ryan pulled the hood to his sweatshirt over his head and began the walk to his car, he had seen what he'd came for, now he still had business to take care of.

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"Knock, knock." Ryan announced his presence as he opened the Cohens front door and made his way inside. This wasn't his first venture back to California, shortly after he'd left for Florida he had made three short trips home. On each occasion he'd arrived late, and quietly let himself into the pool house, and left before anyone was awake. Sandy and Kirsten had both dropped hint in their phone conversation that they knew of the visits and wished he'd stayed to see them. But he also knew that they respect his privacy and made sure he knew that he was always welcome. His visits had stopped when Seth decided to transfer schools and moved into the pool house. He hadn't told them he'd be coming into town, but he had a feeling they'd be expecting him.

"Ryan!" Kirsten bounded from the living room and caught him in a slightly uncomfortable hug. "What are you doing here."

"Well I was in the neighborhood… the neighborhood being the west coast… And figured it had been too long since I'd had a home cooked meal," he joked.

"Funny… You should have called we would have picked you up from the airport."

"I got a car, I uh actually can't stay long I have to drive to Vegas, I've got a weigh in and then a fight on Saturday."

"Vegas!" Sandy piped up from the living room, then grabbed Ryan's hand. "How are you doing kid, you look great."

"I'm doing good, very good actually… Like I said I can't stay long I just wanted to invite you guys to my fight, ringside seats." He handed Sandy an envelope.

"Oh Ryan I wish you would have told us sooner, we're hosting a charity event here Saturday…"

"Honey we can do a Newport party any day of the week…"

"No," Ryan cut him off, "It's cool. I'll have other fights… Is Seth required to attend your gala?"

"He's free to do what he wants, and he's in the pool house," Kirsten pointed out back.

Ryan nodded as started towards the pool house. As much time as he'd spent talking on the phone with them, and as much as he knew they cared about him, it still seemed awkward when he was around them. They took him in so easily after Joey passed; yet sometimes he still felt like he was over stepping his bounds. But a part of him knew that one day, that feeling would subside. He knocked as he reached the door and waited for Seth to call come in.

"Hey man." He said to Seth who was engrossed in his Playstation game.

"Hey," Seth answered still entrapped by the screen. It took him a moment after his 'hey' to realize who was in the room. "Holy shit Ryan!" Seth threw the controller down and jumped up, almost trying to hug him but catching himself. "How the hell are you man."

"Good, good, and you?"

"Good, great now that you're here. I have so much to tell you…"

"Wow hold it there man, I can't stay… I just… well here." He held out a brown envelope to him.

"What is this your will?"

"No, hotel reservations, and all access to my fight Saturday night in Vegas. It's a number one contenders match, I win this my next fight is a title shot."

Ryan's voice was surprisingly unemotional. For as hard as he'd been working for this, for everything he'd sacrificed for this, Seth would have thought he'd be a little more into it. "I f you can't make it, its cool I know your folks have a…"

"No way man, I wouldn't miss this for the world. This is… this is awesome."

"Yeah and all that stuff you have to tell me you can tell me after the fight Saturday."

"Yeah…" An awkward silence fell between the two men, neither could explain why, it was like they both had something to say but neither could get it out.

"Cohen, whose car is that out…." Summer came barging into the pool house and disrupted their silence. "Chino." She coldly said as her eyes fell on him. "I guess that's you're car outside."

"Yeah," he looked down and jammed his hands into his pockets. "Well I…" he looked to Seth, then to Summer, then back at the ground. "I'd better get going, it's a long drive, and I've got work to do, but I'll see you Saturday man."

"Yeah see you then," Seth gave an awkward wave, then diverted his eyes from Summer.

Summer patiently waited until Ryan was no where insight. Well maybe not patiently as she stood tapping her foot, making Seth fear a rage black out. Once he was gone she let loose. "You still talk to him?"

Seth coyly shrugged, "Sometimes I guess."

"Sometimes you guess?"

"Well, I mean he's my friend, he lived here for over a month, and…"

"And you knew where he was, and how to find him the whole time and you never bother to mention any of this to Marissa."

"Marissa not dumb Summer, she had to have known that Ryan and I would keep in touch. And it's not like I can make him talk to her… I mean we don't even talk about her."

"Doesn't matter Cohen, all I hear is that you knew how to find him, and instead of speaking up you just watched her be miserable. You heard her crying herself to sleep at night; you saw the depression, you know ho much she misses him and how confused about everything she is, and you let it go unsaid. Are you even going to mention that he stopped by today?"

"Guess I have to or you will… I mean it doesn't matter though, he's not staying he just came by to give me this." He showed her the envelope, "It's tickets to his fight in Vegas Saturday, there's two, plus some access passes and a hotel room… I'm going are you going with me…"

Summer paused and gave Seth a firm look, "Cohen…"

"Ok so I'm flying solo," he knew what the look meant and he knew she was right. But he also wondering that if the outcome wasn't what it should be, was it worth his friendship with Ryan.

"Cohen…" She stated again this time more aggressive.

Seth let out a loud long sigh, he knew what he had to do, and "Yeah, yeah I know…"


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

Seth gave a long sigh as he entered into Marissa and Summer's apartment to be greeted by a blaring stereo. He stood for a moment to listen to the music in hopes of deciphering what kind of mood she was in.

"I was young but I wasn't naïve. I watched helpless as you turned around to leave. And still I have the pain I carry. A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried. After all this time I never thought we'd be here. Never thought we'd be here. But I couldn't make you see it, couldn't make you see it. That I loved you more than you'll ever know. A part of me died when I let you go."

"Great," he sarcastically mumbled to himself with another sigh. If there was one thing in his life Seth Cohen tried to avoid it was confrontation. If he were in a movie this scene could play out one of two ways. Way one would be that he told her what he had to say gave her what he had to give and she happily and gratefully accepted thrilled at the chance to go. Way two involved screaming at him, spitting in his face and denouncing their friendship. In reality Seth knew that this wasn't a movie and his outcome would probably be some type of medium between scene one and scene two, but God did he hope that it would be closer to scene one. He took another deep breath and made his way out to the back porch, where he saw Marissa laying out listening to the music.

"Hey Marissa," he nervously greeted as he reached over and turned down the radio.

"Hey Seth," she gave him a slight wave without turning her head towards.

"So… how are things? I mean how are you doing… your mood, you know, you feeling depressed today? Any chance of you hitting the bottle anytime soon? I mean are the chemicals in the brain all lined up today?"

"What?" Marissa removed her sunglasses and turned to Seth with a confused and disgusted look on her face. "What are you rambling about?"

"Nothing, just wanted to see how you were feeling today, you know check up on my old friend…"

Confused and slightly annoyed she sat up and slung her legs over the side of the chair to position herself to face him. "Okay I've known you a long time and your nervous ramble is like in overdrive right now, so Cohen get to the point."

"Wow you just called me Cohen, no one calls me Cohen but Summer."

"Yeah and it seems to work when she calls you it, so how about you make it work for me."

Seth blew out a long breath; "Ok here's the deal… I… I…" he reached up and scratched his head wondering for a moment if this was really the right thing to do. "I have to tell you something, but I not sure if I should. I mean I was never directly told that I couldn't but… it's been like an unspoken rule and I think if I tell you I'm breaking that rule and I was never good at breaking rul…."

"Seth! You're rambling again. Jeez I haven't heard you ramble this bad in… No wait you always ramble this bad."

"Yeah, it's kind of endearing don't you think?"

Marissa gave half a laugh and nodded her head, "So what can you not tell me?"

Seth took a long gaze at Marissa and yet another sigh fell from his mouth. Slowly he reached into his back pocket and removed the curled up brown envelope. He shifted the envelope from and to hand, then began nervously tapping it against his palm. "I want to give this to you." He held it out and waited for her to take it from him. For a moment he hesitated letting it go, still unsure that his actions were absolutely the right thing to do. When it was completely in her possession he spoke again. "I think you need that a lot more than I do." With his words he stood up.

Marissa, slightly confused looked down at the envelope in her hands. "Ok, so what is this?"

Seth licked his lips, and fidgeted before sitting down again. He reached up and out of nerves scratched his head as if he were trying to figure out what to say. "Ok don't get mad at me…" He paused and waited for a response.

"About what?"

"Just promise you won't get mad at me."

"Even if I were to get mad at you Seth, it never lasts. You're a Cohen I can't stay mad at you guys."

"Okay… good enough for me because this might really piss you off…" He paused yet again.

"Seth just spit it out."

"Okay…" He cocked his head back as if he'd just had a big revelation. "I've been starting a lot of sentences with that word… Okay. It's a funny word, you know most people don't think it's a word, they just use the letters, O and K but really it's a full wor…"

"Seth you're rambling again."

"Right… that.." he pointed to the envelope. "That's the yellow brick road to Ryan. After… well after everything and after he went to Florida we've kept in touch." Seth stopped again and studied Marissa face surprised that she didn't have the slightest look of surprise on her face,

"Okay." She plainly stated.

"You don't sound surprised."

"I knew, I mean I figured. Aside from what happened between he and I you guys were really good to him, I mean you and your parents and he's not an ungrateful person. Plus you and he you…"

"Became friends," he finished her sentence.

"Yeah and it's not a bad thing and I'm not upset with you for being his friend, or at him for being yours. You both kinda needed each other."

"Yeah well I don't see him hardly ever, or even talk to him that often. He's been working his ass off constantly fighting. And… He's really done good for himself Marissa. He's gotten farther in the past months than most guys get in years."

"I know, I watch him. He's had four fights on ESPN and two undercard matches on HBO. I always watch it's the only time I get to see him."

"And how exactly did you do this without any of us noticing?"

"I go to the Sports Bar with my dad. We don't talk about him but I get to see him, and my dad doesn't ask questions."

"So that's what you've been doing during your dinners with dad… Well I guess you know that he's a contender then."

"Yeah and he's gonna be the next middleweight champ. No one in the division holds a candle to him. But it's weird to watch him fight now, because… When I see him there's something different about him. I mean I may have only seen him fight twice before we broke up and only one of those was before Joey died. But he's different it's like he's not there when he's fighting, like he's just recklessly trying to destroy whatever's in front of him. Like he recklessly tried to destroy what he have."

"Have? Or had?"

"Have. Nothing's changed on my end. I love him, and I always will. Before I met Ryan I never thought I'd truly safe again, and I had never really felt what love was like, then… That first night when he was lying in the hospital and he woke up… He was groggy and a bit disgruntle but I looked in his eyes and… It was like out of nowhere I was found and I didn't even know I was still lost. The only thing that's changed is now he's lost."

"Well, I think it's time that someone found him." Seth pointed to the envelope that Marissa was tightly clutching. "Everything in there is in my name, so he can't stop you before you're at least in the room with him… Make it worth it, because if you don't I think I just lost one of the best friends I've ever had…" He stood and cocked his head back realizing the implications of his words, "No pressure or anything." He joked as he turned to leave Marissa with her thoughts.

A/N: Okay I know I said I'd have it finished by now but everyone I know had to have their graduations last weeks so now I'm back on track. There's ONE more chapter left and it will be up as soon as I'm finished with it. The last chapter is a little harder to write than I thought because I always thought I knew how I wanted the last scene to play out but now I'm toying with a couple of different things. Plus I have to make sure I give this story the proper ending because it's been my baby and I will miss it. BTW I'd like to thank whoever pimped me over at TWOP you added a bit of pressure and I'm glad I'm getting people who don't like R/M to read this story. Ok just ONE more to go.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Ryan sighed and ran his hands through his hair as he stared at the locker room wall. His fight wasn't for another two hours, and his trainers wouldn't be in the locker room for at least another hour. It was moments like this he hated, moments of being left alone with his thoughts. He knew that he should be focusing on his fight, working on a game plan, reflecting on what a big moment this was for him. But he couldn't help the fact that he felt empty and alone. Locker rooms were hollow and lonely places, and Ryan could blame his feelings on that if he didn't feel like that every time he was left alone with his thoughts. Another glance at the clock, still just under two hours before fight time, he couldn't help but wonder where the hell Seth was. Seth wouldn't miss something like this and the whole reason Ryan had given him locker room access was so he wouldn't have to spend this time alone in the locker room. With a deep breath he tried to focus his mind on the fight but all it wanted to do was drift.

Too close… He had gotten too close to her a few days ago and being one state away was still too close. All he could think about was her, in these moments alone she was still all he thought about. Things had been easier for him before she came along. Ryan had no problem being alone; he could focus on himself, on doing what he had to do. Enter Marissa Cooper, she took the snow globe of his life and shook it up. She became the small flecks of white swirling around his content existence. She became what rested with him, what created the motion inside him. He sighed and roughly rubbed his eyes, he thought about what she'd asked him, he thought about what she meant to him, he thought about his actions the night she'd left. He made himself sick, the things he'd said, and the way he'd handled everything. But he couldn't say he would change anything. In the end he still saw the same outcome which was still that no matter what could have happened that night, eventually she'd leave him. Ryan threw a hard punch into the air and began shadow boxing, trying to hurt himself. Trying to fight her from his mind, trying to figure out why she felt so close, and fight her back farther. If only he knew.

Marissa took a deep breath as she followed the man down the long hallway. She'd taken this walk before, in Reno. Only at that time she'd been call upon, not an unexpected guest. A stir in the pit of her stomach told her to turn around and leave; it told her not to do this to him or herself. She had no idea what she was going to say or how things were going to play out, if she'd learned anything from Ryan it was to have no expectations. She fought off the stir, her need to see him was stronger, and a part of her was vindictive. He hadn't cared about hurting her with his words the night they'd parted, he just wanted her gone. So right now she didn't care about throwing him off and possibly screwing up his fight. 'Karma can be a bitch,' she laughed to herself.

The guard in front of her held up a finger at her as he knocked on the door, "Atwood you got someone here for you."

Ryan jumped at the man's words; the only person he's invited had been Seth, "Yeah yeah, let him in."

"You heard the man, go on in." The guard told her as he started back down the hallway.

Marissa closed her eyes and took a deep breath, for a split second she was again unsure if this was the right thing to do. She let the held breath out and slowly pushed her way into the locker room with her eyes still closed.

Immediately Ryan's eyes widen, his mouth went dry and his face blank. "Marissa," he spoke half a whisper and half a hiss. He tried to hide the shivers that coursed his body at the sight of her.

"Not who you were expecting?" She tried to joke, her voice meek.

"H-h-how did you…" the words caught in his throat. He watched as she shrugged and gave a faint half smile. Ryan closed his eyes and sighed, he knew, "Seth." He watched as she nodded. "Should have known."

"Don't be mad at him… I think Summer might have forced him."

"That wouldn't surprise me." As he spoke he tried to keep his mouth from sticking together from the dryness.

A silence fell between them, each trying to figure out what to say next. Neither being able to hide the emotions that were building up in their eyes. Ryan clenched his jaw; Marissa folded her arms to herself. Awkwardness between lovers with unfinished business is awkwardness of the worst kind.

"So why are you here?" His voice trying to sound cold, trying to hide the glimmer of promise.

"I needed to know you were okay. I needed to see you for my own sanity. Selfish I know, but I guess old habits die hard."

"Well you've seen me, so I guess you can have a nice life now," he waved at the air. As much as he wanted her back, the outcome for them in his mind was still the same and he couldn't deal with that.

Marissa gave a snorted laugh, "How did I know you would be like this."

"Like what?"

"The same way you were that night in the pool house. It doesn't tell you anything that I'm here? That after damn near a year I'm still waiting for you to figure out why you're fighting so hard, that I'm still waiting for you to come back to me? Damn it Ryan I came here because…"

"Nothing's changed since that Marissa, all we're about to do is have the same fight again."

"You're right, nothing has changed since that night. We both still love each other, and you can deny it all you want you can lie and say some hurtful things I won't believe again. But you still love me, I saw it in your eyes went you saw it was me here and not Seth, you didn't have the chance to prepare yourself and hide it. Nothing has changed from that night Ryan, you're still scared and that's why you fight. I always knew that, I was waiting for you to figure it out, but… I guess you're more stubborn than I thought. You fight because you're scared. You're scared of what you'd be with out it; you're scared of what you were in the past. You fight because you're scared of taking a risk and when you're fighting is the only time you will take a risk. You're scared of loving anyone, scared of loving me because I'm not what you're used too because I'm a risk. Afraid I'm just going to leave you…"

"No I knew that night and I still know that you'd just leave me. It's not a matter of fear I've never been afraid of anything in my life. I may fight a lot of things, but I don't fight the truth. And the truth is that you'd leave like everyone else. You'd find something better. You'd find what you really wanted and you'd leave…"

"When are you going to stop fighting long enough to see that what I want is you."

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"…Ryan Atwood," The announcer called as Ryan made his way to the ring. The crowd stood and cheered. He tried to clear his mind as he threw quick and brutal punches into the air showing he was ready to fight. "Ryan this is your chance man," he managed to make out his trainer's words through the buzz of the crowd. Through the ropes he went and into the ring, he bounced and threw punches, hyping himself and the crowd. His opposition stepped up and towed the line, glared eye to eye with him as the referee went over the rules. Ryan arches his neck from side to side, grinning as it popped. "Now touch gloved and come out fighting," the man finished and sent them back into their corners. Patience was not a virtue Ryan was blessed with; he grew antsy in the seconds between the directions and the bell. He kept his eyes forward not wanting to look into the crowd and see the empty seats that should have held Seth and Summer, but in his case if anyone was there it would be Marissa. Their conversation earlier gave him affirmation that the seats would be empty, and that was a reality he did not want to face.

The bell rang, Ryan tried not to smile and he moved in. Each man throwing a series of jabs feel the other out. The man across from him was a southpaw; a left handed fighter, which man for a different plan of attack. Basically everything had to be reversed, made for a harder fight and more concentration. He knew right off by the way the man faked and bounced that he would have to time his power shots well, and they would be fewer than in his other fights. The fighter was quick throwing and landed several jabs to Ryan's face and body as Ryan worked hard to moved and readjust his plan.

By the time everything was worked out in Ryan's head, the fight was already headed down hill for him, in was well into the fifth round before Ryan even managed to get in a good shot, a left hook that landed right below the rib cage and winded his opponent. But as Ryan was ready the rally the man fought back, catching Ryan with a straight left to the cheek, that knocked him off balance, a hook to the stomach knocking the wind from up. Another shot to the stomach this time an upper cut knocking him back on the ropes. He punches started coming so quick; Ryan was having trouble blocking them, and was taking the brunt of most of the shots. He bounced on and off the ropes trying to move, or clench or punch his way out, but the punches kept coming, and Ryan was starting to feel the fear of defeat. _'You fight because you're scared,'_ his fear evoked her words to circle through his mind. As they did he took a hard shot to the temple; the same kind of shot that had landed him in the hospital the night he met her. His mind went blank and dizzied. Luckily for him at that moment relief struck as he heard the sound of the bell that ended the round.

The chair was thrown out for him and exhausted he landed in it, greeted by a screaming, and pissed off trainer. "Get your fucking head in this fight Ryan. I don't know where you are but you're not here. And you need to get here…." The trainer continued to scream instructions at him. Ryan gasped and tried to catch his breath. _"…You can't just take your risks in the boxing ring, that you have to take them in life too."_ Summer's words echoed through his mind. He stood up; hurt bruised and bleed from his left cheek. Knowing he needed a knock out to win the fight he feared the defeat that lingered ahead of him. 'At least no one here's to witness this,' he thought to himself as he turned his eyes over to the seats where Seth's tickets had been. His body clearly shivered, as there was only one seat empty, he blinked and held it, thinking it was only his imagination. But when he opened his eyes again, she was still there, this time she was staring back at him, making clear eye contact. Ryan jerked his head away, and bit down on his bottom lips, he felt his eyes narrow. The bell rang and Ryan became a lion.

He waited through the first minute of the round taking shots and letting the man think he still had the best of them. But a slightly off straight left gave Ryan the opening he was looking for. A sharp upper cut to the chin threw the man back into the ropes. Ryan waited for him to bounce off and slammed him with a hook to the jaw, blood spatter from the man's mouth as he head slung to the left. Another shot, this time to the body, followed up by an upper cut to the body. Ryan rallied his punches; the man who stood against him, no longer had a chance. Ryan drew back a left hook to the temple, a straight right to the cheek, a right hook to the eye that cause the man to bust open and bleed. Ryan went to the body, hook, straight right, upper cut, and jab. The flesh was getting softer the punches more powerful, with a split second he stepped back and took a glance to her, his head snapped back as he threw another punch, a solid upper cut to the man's jaw, the final punch of the fight. The man stumbled back into the ropes then hit the canvas, not even attempting to get up before the ten count. He had rallied back and won his place in the boxing world. His trainer jumped into the ring and raised his arm. Ryan shifted his position in the ring so he could make eye contact with Marissa again, only to see her seat empty, and a door leading out of the auditorium closing.

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One thing Ryan had to admit was that the fight had taken everything in him. He was now sore, and tired and trying to make himself comfortable as he sat in the hard plastic seat of Gate 23 in the Las Vegas airport. It was nearing ten p.m. and he had half an hour before his flight back to Tampa, and now that he was the number one contender, he actually had a few months to rest before he needed to start training for his next fight. A part of Ryan was relief at the thought of time to let his body heal. However, the bigger part of him knew that the time resting would be torturous. He sighed and thought that he could probably get Seth to come out and visit for a while, if school was out. Ryan tried to remember when his classes finished. Maybe he'd find out if Arturo was out of jail and fly him out for a visit. As he tried to think of thing he could do with his time and was he could distract himself, Ryan realized he didn't have a whole lot of friends to take up his time. This thought would have made him shrug to himself had he not been in so much pain.

"Hey aren't you Ryan Atwood, the boxer?" A young boy approached and asked him.

Ryan winced in pain and shook his yes, as he tried to shift in his seat. "That's me." He tried to smile for the kid.

"Yeah I thought so, I just wanted to make sure… I went to your fight last night with my dad. You were awesome man. Like went you almost got knocked out and then fought back and knocked him out. That was great you were like totally fearless."

Ryan forced a smile, but the thoughts in his head, did not agree with what the boy had said. Fearless was not even close to what he had felt like in the ring. He cocked his head to the side and head Marissa words ring through his mind again. The fear of losing had been what motivated him to win his fight. He had given himself a to think of it then, but it hadn't been the fear of being defeated, it had been the fear that she would see him get defeated that had pushed him. He felt his body jerk as his mind got flooded with conversations, memories, and revelations. "Thanks, kid." He smiled to the boy and picked up his bag, as he heard the woman make the call for boarding of the flight. He looked to the line of people, pulled his bag over his shoulder and turned away.

"Ummm, hey the gate's this way." The kid pointed out to Ryan.

"I just remember I've got something else to take care of." He started walking back toward ticketing. He glanced down at his watch, 10:30 p.m., his stomach told him he would find what he was looking for, there had to be a flight.

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It took two planes, and a rental car to get him where he needed to be, and by the time he got there it was close three on the morning. As he pulled him rental car to a stop he looked around and saw no cars. It was an odd sight at three in the morning for neither one of them to be home. Not that he wanted to deal with Summer; she always seemed to have less than kind words for him. Ryan rubbed his tired eyes; maybe he should have waited until morning. He was sore to the point where he could barely move, for a moment he paused and thought to himself about his options. There was always the Cohen's, although since Seth had relocated to the pool house, he would actually have to make his presence known. He could get a hotel, but what was the point when he knew the Cohen's would be more comfortable. All of these options could run through his mind all night but the truth was he wanted to be there when she got home, no matter what time it was, and the only option for him was to stay exactly where he was.

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It was a quarter till nine when Marissa turned her car onto her street. Summer and Seth were cuddled together in the backseat, making her feel slightly like their chauffeur, even though she should have felt more like their savior. They had only fallen asleep slightly over an hour before, as they had bickered most of the way home from Tijuana. They had gotten into an argument and Seth had managed to put the car into a ditch due to their fighting, fighting which continued on the way home after Marissa had driven to save them when Summer refused to spend anymore time in Tijuana.

"Hey guys, we're home," she woken them as they approached the driveway.

"Great," Seth rubbed his head; "Oh man do I have a jew-fro right now."

"I think you jew-fro is cute, even if it did get us stranded on the side of the road."

"Hey, hey now it was…"

"Cohen don't start…" Summer hushed him, then pointed to the streets. "Whose car is that?" She raised an eyebrow.

"No clue," Marissa answered as she put her car in park. "Probably someone visiting one of the neighbors."

"Yeah you're probably right," Summer answered not quite sure she believed that herself.

Marissa didn't wait for Summer and Seth as she briskly walked towards the apartment door; she needed to be away from them, they certainly went good travel companions when they were fighting. As she approached the door, she saw a figured curled up in front of it. She skidded to a halt and waited for Seth and Summer to catch up, scared and unsure of who it was in front of her door, or what they wanted.

"What the hell," Summer called out as she saw the person in a hooded sweat shirt, curled up with his head buried in his knees at their door. "Who the hell is that?" She pointed and turned to Marissa who shrugged.

Seth caught up to the girls and didn't even bother to say anything to them. Confused he called out, "Ryan!"

Both Marissa and Summer turned to Seth with looks just as confused as his, but then back to Ryan as he popped up at the sound of his name. "Chino?" Summer called out as he jumped up.

"Yeah…" he bit on his lip and studied Marissa face.

"Ryan," she whispered. "What are you doing here?"

"Well what had happened was… See I missed my flight my flight to Tampa last night, and I could have stayed in Vegas and got a hotel room but then I realized… I hate hotel, the bed are like plywood, and the water pressure always sucks and you can always hear what's going on in the other room and…"

"Ryan!" She called out to him, "You're rambling, you sound like Seth."

"Yeah," he smiled and looked to Seth, then back to Marissa. "He kinda rubs off." Ryan took a thick swallow and a few small steps towards Marissa. "Truth is I missed my flight on purpose…. Because…" He took a deep sigh. "When I gave Seth those tickets, I knew they would end up with you… I wanted to see you, I needed to hear you voice, I just didn't want to admit it to myself… And then when I saw you and…You were right…" He looked Marissa head on with soft eyes, eyes that were almost pleading. "When you said I fought because I was scared, you were right. I didn't know it until last night but my whole life I've been fighting because I was scared. And I fought you because you scared me, because when I'm with you I'm not scared, and that scares me… If that makes any sense at all. You were right Marissa, you knew me better than I knew myself." He was so busy talking and trying to keep his eyes locked with hers that he didn't notice her moving closer. "And I was a jerk and I was stupid and I said a lot of thing I didn't me…" His words kept getting stuck in his throat. "I… I want… I want us again, I'm still scared but I love you, I always did and I never stopped and I'm ready to take that risk… you'll have me tha…"

Marissa's hand reached out and touched his lips, "Ryan, shhh, you're here that's all that matters. You never had to say any of that, I'll always take you back, fighting or not." She bit her lip and smiled; "It's part of loving you."

Ryan smiled and moved in gently kissing her, as Seth and Summer watched on. Summer fought back the tears in her eyes, she never thought that happy was an adjective she'd be able to used in the same sentence with her best friend's name. But now she knew that happy would always be a word she could use to describe Marissa. Seth wrapped an arm around Summer and pulled her in close, "Aww they made up… it's like a cheesy romantic comedy…"

Ryan and Marissa broke apart laughing at Seth's comment Marissa turned to Seth, "Hey you should write that one Seth, rough around the edges boxer, spoiled recovering alcoholic, meet fall in love…" She described it out to Seth.

"Yeah I should do that, I could call it…" He paused.

Ryan looked to Marissa and smiled as a thought crossed his mind. He looked up to Seth and finished his sentence, "Little Victories." He pulled Marissa tight to his side and as their eyes meet they both smiled, happy.

The End


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